okay so fri night i got there & jillian was like "i'm in a v bad place, haven't left bed in a week", and i was like k kewl lets party. lol. so i got her & we went to the mineshaft and stuff (saw ppl there and chilled. tyler who is my bane, and leif who is my dream), then we were like lets go to the fair. 

leif is the one i told you 

i've been crushin on hard, and he has the v blonde but like cute facial hard

hair*

random

so we went to the fair, saw people, did photobooth, ate kewl/wonky things (corn mostly that night) then we were like k back to bars

did that, for a sec, but beni was there (with new squeeze, with huge full bangs)

and chris rector was there (lit was my best friend and now is complete asshole) and so i was like okay this is not coo

so even though jillian just got me a blaster, and leif was there, and brooke was there, i was like bai. and ran away and called sarah francis and left a message. per my usual

so then i called dylan my bro and was like WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU. and he was almost to mineshaft, and i was like YES can we go to crazy horse (other bar w live band, that dyl likes way better)

and he was like this sux, weird keys band and stuff, so we were like kbye, and he took me back to jillian's where my car was

i FINALLY got to aust's hella late, and scared the shit outta him. but was supposed to hang out w him at like 7, but he couldn't fair OR bars cause johnny just had knee surgery 

it was a lil chaotic, and like SO many people i'm not mentioning in all this, cause overwhelming

but i left jillian abruptly & crazily cause beni weirdly stormed off when i got there? and chris ignored me. and jillian is crushing fucking hard on this super hott gai named caelen

or caelin, something weird

so i was like go have fun, peace

austin and i watched things and snuggled poor john john

he's SO sad

like same

so aust wakes up earl for work & i was like kbye see you never, i am going to the fair again with jillian, and he was like okay, my dad is watching johnny today and tonight, see you tonight

i go to brunch even though leif didn't come, but alex, and jillian, and dylan so dream

we drink a lot of mimosas and go hang out w everyone on the veranda and then we were like FAIR

so we get ice cream, go see a hypnotist, do crazy shit, i eat an amazing pastie. we go on the HUGE ferris wheel, first time in my life. i won games

it was gr8. then alex had to leave for work and we were supposed to go with her. this was like 9pm 

and we were like NO we love the fair too much!! so like ran around, and jillian did karaoke of course

and did so many things

oh, the first night jillian and i did katy perry wii on stage. to i kissed a girl. it was INSANE

i never slept

sooo sat night gets cray, and austin comes and is WASTED

jillian throws water in a stranger's face for giving away her karaoke songs

it was hilar

so see lots of people, meet their fucking BABIES

then we do photobooth, evweryone is like getting naked, and we are like LETS GO BACK TO NC

cause the fair was closing (11pm i think)

we remember when we reach the parking lot that we lit do not have a car there

my bro is drunk at bar waiting for us so can't get us

alex is working

the fair is closing, and austin anina and michael are like CUM W US. and we were like thank god. and then they were like you can roll around in a truckbed. and i was like nooo pleaase. so jilian and i put our thumbs out

LIT

cause it's fair traffic, so austin jillian and i are wandering the street behind anina and michael who are like fucking

cause like creepy couple

also funny note: anina is why beni isn't talkign to me cause he thinks he like cheated on me with her, when they had sex a lil while ago. she's in the most wonky/lop-sided open relationship

so we are actually yelling in stranger's windows to take us from grass valley to nevada city, and no one says they are going to the mineshaft, or theyre on meth so we just like run away

THEN we yell at two guys and it's this fucking weird kid named talon who gives people back massages

he is driving this tiny shitty car

and is like wtf

and stops all the cars, and we hop in back even though there is NOOOOOOO ROOM

so we chill with talon and kevin his roommate forever

meaning traffic

talon works for the forestry service or some shit. i made him teach me real owl calls

he crept on us rly hard and refered to his dick as his talon. jill and i willingly played along.

referred *

we FINALLY pull into the parking lot in front of mineshaft, and then cop lights come on behind us

lit in the parking lot

and p sure everyone is drunk, no seatbelts, like it was all bad

he has a break light and tail light out..

no turn signal, and broken driver's side window. so he opens his car door to talk to the two cop gais and they are like yelling scared and angry like GET BACK IN THE VEHICLE

and he is like a 5'5 tall HICK kid

austin's age

austin weirdly loves him btw haha

talon said they hang out?

SO things were looking bleak, after being sooo awesome cause we got a ride hitchhiking

the cops take talon, then he comes back way later and says we're cool

we all go to the shaft, and tell alex how we got home and she died. cause we both had clay class w talon in high scool

we go out back and there are a lot of people, but good people: tas, dylan, palmer, leif, caelen, and just so many people cause everyyyone came from the fair

we yelled at leif and everyone who didn't brunch or fair, and then jill got into deep conv w cael and i hit on palmer this spunky lil gay boy i have a crush on

so we decided we should start dating cause we love each other so much, so we do, and then i talk to my bro a long time which was hilar

and olivia and shitty ppl try to talk to me and i ignore

anina is so fucked up, and everyone is CRUNK. austin can't see out of his eyes, and jill and i are sober

i have half a beer

tas and i sit in silence for an extended period of time. then we just have this huge table w everyone and all chill. then we have a squad and anina is like omg let's go party! (even though our good friend, julia, her roommate is fast asleep at their house and we are not supposed to talk)

austin tells me that the guy staying with them is awesome and i HAVE to meet him and will like him soo much

later he mentions this guy is gay

so our enormous group just all leave the bar. and i'm with dylan and leif who love each other

oh, and palmer who i lit have feelings for. he's moving to seattle and i told him i'd follow him

olivia and jill run off, caelen is like where is jillian!!??!? and the boys all go to get beer (aust and tas and stuff)

so i chat on the longest walk ev

with dyl and leif. and we are like wtf is this night or this train we just hopped on

talk about trains a lot

then arrive at anina's and everyone makes it there, astonishingly 

brb

not literally

but just like, the night got weird

took a turn

none of us wanted to like go to anina lawence's with her boyfriend

but she created the weirdest hugest little party

as soon as i get there i freak out cause like so many people, and julia heick is trying to sleep, and i can't even deal. so i chill alone in anina's room for a long time

jillian shows us, sees me laying on anina's bed pounding water (cause dehydrated) out of this massive starbucks mug, and was like wat. i was like oh i've been yoyoing (lit) & now want to be in anina's bed

she is so drunk that we are like bffs. but everyone is outside. caelen too, so jillian makes me sit with her and caelen, his friend, and leif and dylan and all the girls and gay guys and austin and palmer (also both gay)

 i am cold and tired and mis outside. it's so late, and i can't hang, so crawl into anina's bed after i go pee and just hang out w my dead phone and try to sleep

i finally get warm, and anina was like yeah my bf and i need my bed, OH AND all of the couches and surfaces are taken, soo.. here's a couple blankets for the floor. and ONE pillow between like 15 people

i was DYING and everyone's cars were not there cause we walked miles. i have no clothes and am freezing. i try to steal austin's keys. no one is k with that, and is still trying to go night swimming but no one is sober enough to drive. i pretend i can't either. then once we want to sleep leif is like well i'm housesitting my parent's house. my car isn't here either, but we can all go there in austin's,

so we fill his car, with all my FAVE PEOPLE and then alex g shows up after work. she follows us to leif's fucking "MANSION"

nicest house i've ev been to

btw dylan just evaporated into thin air at some point

oh, and we didn't know until sunday that we had left jillian there

so we walk up to leifs, and it's amazing and like ten dogs and cats and birds and just so many animals....

so we plan to hot tub and do all this shit

i was like yeah totally! even though it's 1~2am already

then crawl into the very first bed i see. without telling anyone.

i lay there on my back just like crying from comfort cause it's a cali king 4 post bed

srsly. my phone was dead a lot of the weekend. i was v v in the moment

carpe diem

so austin alex and palmer like root through and "explore" this like 2-3 story like amaaaazing house

it was nightmare cause pix. i stole jillian's phone any sec i could

so there's like a billion dogs in and out of this room. the room is like a dynasty, like it was all pimped out like cribs. srsly. 

i was too tired to hang

just sleepy and peaceful 

so anyways the door is open and i am watching eevryone like look through his fridge and stuff lol. austin is like TURNT

i felt bad for leif but he was entertained by them, slash illin w his dogs

also like semi rel things to note

the weekend was super romant for everyone cause the fair is suchh a thing in our town, and like magical and nostalgic and everything

and i confessed my love for brooke to her earlier at the bar. told her i had a crush on her and she was like chell\

told everyone i was obsessed w them

also felt tired and weird-stomach all weekend so didn't drink at all (except mimos at brunch)

soo back to being in this deam house

i see leif come up the stairs to the room i'm in. no idea who's room btw cause it had like stuffed animal sharks, a fire place (made entirely of glass), and a lot of pictures of blonde kids aka leif

yeah, just like high-schooly and whatnot

just like "fun"

so

leif comes into the room and plobs onto the bed right next to me

we talk a lil and i was like ty so v much for saving us

he was like no this is so great slash i didn't have my car either and wanted to be here. so we just talked about life being great 

we pause for a sec and then he flips over and kisses me

plops*

i kinda died cause did not expect but stoked cause he's perf and so nice and gr8. but then we kiss for like lit eternity

the door is wide open to 1000 animals & my best friends but was like [shrugging girl]

i know

seriously

had nooo idea

so we're making out, then a sec later lit have all our clothes off lo

oh, right at that point i was like "you should shut the door"

but there was at least one huge black dog in there

so he runs back from the door i think in underwear

and mostly i was like wat

at it all

sooo will skip this part but one sec later we had sex...

it was a billion degrees

afterwards he was like lets shower. i was like ya v down. the shower was the size of my apt, and had two shower heads and like bench and like everything cool

shower got weird, will not go there at the moment

so that was chill/the best, and i was like k time for bed

but then we got dressed and went to go hang out with everyone cause they were still up

btw they are on the back porch, cause just hot tubbed, and palmer stepped in dog shit, and it's like 4am i think

at least

we are like HEY FRIENDS

and they are like omg you guys are jokes

and we were like nooo. then palmer (my gay bf) was like SERIOUSLY WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING. and i lit had a towel on lol

leif was like yeah well sometimes you need a nap! then they made fun of us for a sec then got over it. we all sit there making WASTED austin 

laugh uncontrollably

so we watch the sunrise and palmer who is so sassy was like THIS SUCKS AND SUNRISES SUCK it's so late

he had work at 2pm the next day and was raging

he was like MAKE SURE I GET UP BY 1pm guys!!!

so leif was like k everyone there are 4 beds, hella bedding, like everything you need (i later found out from alex that they made macaroni there, then went through all their cabinets and shit lol just for fun)

alex palmer and austin find one like small bed without bedding and all get into that and like pass out

it was insane

i lit am so unconvinced about leif

so didn't even think he wanted to sleep in same bed lol

we slept in that giant bed. no covers cause heat

shit gtg to 2nd job lol. brb will be home before 4. i think you're leaving too i hope

Cared Not That Long Ago

here's a little blimp in time of my life, as I sit in my car at the laundry mat. last night (4-6pm) I watched a documentary called hot girls wanted, about the amateur porn industry, after I got home from work (/getting rent money order). I had tentative plans with lizz, but she had to go home, for her mom, early instead (which I ended up insanely text-yelling at her about, because she always thinks that I'm still trying to hang out even after she explains that it is not an option.) I wait for sarah to get off of work, to call her like we agreed, I call at 6:11pm and she said that she was reaching for her phone to call me. we meet at shimizu, don't go to the poetry reading at the book store, but get frozen yogurt after dinner. I tell sarah that zandra texted me saying that the grapevine told her that I am moving with calvin, she responds that she doesn't care what he does, anymore. she asks about la, I say I don't know. I text bethany as I drive home, around the lake (I told myself I was allowed to if the paul mccartney song came on the radio that night, and it did.) 

when I get back to my apartment, I watch welcome to me, another mediocre kristen wiig movie, misrepresenting mental illness, then watch best of me, a nicholas sparks book/movie that I ended up sobbing at. at some point during the movie I start itching very badly, on the inside of my arms. it then dawns upon me, what could be happening. I inspect my bed over and over with my cellphone's flash light, but there's nothing. I get up, look in the mirror, and I am covered in huge bright and painful bumps. I realize that what is already on my elbow was a series of bedbug bites, as I had feared (I had covered them with band-aids and pretended that they were not there). I look at every inch of my bed, bedbug casings, and tiny blood splatters, but no sign of the insect itself. I try to relax, I start the movie again, then feel a sharp subtle pain on my right knee, I look at it closer, two or three huge fresh bites. I could not remember being bit below the waist before, he was out to kill me. I tear my bed apart, it's 1am but I'm going to find it, and suddenly, I do. I kill it between two pieces of scotch tape, plump and rust colored from so much of my blood. I add it to the graveyard, and go to the bathroom again, to cover myself in my tea tree oil and neosporin mixture. my left eye is red and swollen, either from an allergic reaction, or a single face bite. I eventually fall asleep after finishing the movie, and icing my eye lid.

I wake up many times, but don't get out of bed until after 1pm. I see in the mirror that my eye went down this time, but I have at least two neck bites, a rash or three bites on the right side of my chest, four to five on my right elbow, two on my right knee, a lot of my left and right underarms, a bad one on my right hand, and a pretty big red rash or bite on the front of my left arm. I make my eggs, eat my fruit and yogurt, then try for a long time to get the wifi to work on either my phone or laptop. eventually my computer connects, and I sit there for a while, listening to a dryer spin, even though the laundry room has been locked for weeks. I hear people walking up and down the stairs, and decide to check it out before I head for the laundry mat; still closed. 

I hear someone go up the stairs a few minutes later, and decide boldly to join them. walking towards me on the roof is a handsome man with dark blonde hair, carrying with him 3-4 articles of clothing in his arms, who looks like the actor from rust and bone, only a bit younger. he smiles at me, either like he as a secret key, or thinks I'm cute, I am completely unsure which. the door closes behind him, I try it, locked again. I email my landlord asking what's up, and head to west grand coin laundry with my two baskets, including my bedding (and miranda july book). wearing a black sweatshirt, warm, but war wounds from the night concealed, I walk into the street to find my car. a young man standing behind a brand new black bmw, no plates yet, makes eye contact with me, as he holds his dick, peeing in the street. I walk towards him, to the sound of his jinglling belt buckle, like the star in most depressing musical ever. we both drive away down seventh, once he's finished peeing, going on with our normal days. I drive to pack n save, and purchase an on sale almond butter for $9.99.

Human

"That's the thing about unpredictable guys, they're unpredictable"

a bit scared, or nervous, i knock a few times on the window of the door. moments later a glimpse of a face i hardly recognize is peering, unfriendly, through the blinds. the doors opens, wordlessly, and i enter to a blackened bedroom, alex in bed with another mess of curly dark hair to her left, and the person who opened the door is beni. none of this is what i hoped to enter to (also did not want to wake anyone), but i try telling myself it could be worse. the three of them are asleep and mad, i sit in the chair in a bit of dread. 

at breakfast i sit across from richard, next to alex, all three boys agree that they want to sit on one side, and take the booth. beni and i are smiling at each other, as i blow off all the pick-up lines and advances, jeff claims twice that he saw sparks, alex couldn't help but laugh and laugh. alex doles out bright colors pills to both jeff, and beni, the three of them wash them down excitedly. the boys suggest that i get a cranberry orange mimosa, and i do, afterwards i looked forward to grapefruit second, the one i had been wanting. at one point i look up from my lobster scramble to see beni, crying. alex calms him down, saying that we accept him, and want what's best, he takes a napkin and soaks up his wet face and tear-filled eyes. alex and i look at each other, both mouth words of adoration back and forth. beni continues countless advances, which i pick and a throw back, surprisingly. he doesn't let me pay for any part of breakfast. 
from south pine we walk to the mineshaft, beni asks what i would like, he wants what i want, i say that i was thinking the same thing. he orders two tropicals, which i appreciated, again told me to put my wallet away, told me to get used to it. it's a sunny afternoon, and we are all out on the back patio with different drinks. some people had baileys, like hayley, who was there with joe. we talk to all of our friends, beni and i smiling over to each other all the while. he swaps our drinks several times, i do too. when i say that his straw was pink and mine was green, he responds that colors shouldn't be assigned to gender, purple is one of his favorite colors. alex tells me that lisa is getting off of work at three forks soon, and asks if i want to head over to meet here, we say we are leaving, and they don't want us to go, beni tells me to come right back. walking into three forks we see brooke, i was so happy to see her, and we sit at a table, while lisa drinks her wine, and brooke eats her soup and cider. from there we drive to alex's, seeing chris on the way. we all sit outside together on the couches, "whose dog is this?" chris asks looking at the gray puppy, part blue nose pit, part black lab, run around insanely, happy but out of control, "beni's" alex and i say. we laugh, "i could have guessed".

coopers.

gets me a sierra nevada, and says that he likes that that's what i wanted. i watched pills, and drinks, everything be shared. the "blow" the "waves" the "party". a soft blur of sprinkling rain on the tent above, jokes and dancing from richard, but mostly smiles, from beni. he watches me, and when i look over, every time, he's whispering and laughing, he's talking to jeff about me. no matter what i do he never sits next to me, every time i lose track of him, i find him frantically searching the bar for me. one time he said he even ran out the front, he thought i was leaving and would be on the street. at one point he offers if i ever want to get out of the bar, we could go for a walk if that was something i would want to do. i tell him that it would be, figuring he assumed i could get over the bar scene, but it was a kind thought. i meet his sister, he introduces me to his friends. i'm sitting on the bench in the back, after having martin or someone turn on the heater for me, and beni is to my left against the fence, talking about me, still grinning. there is a spot next to me, i look at him, and when our eyes meet i motion to the seat. he come over fast, and excited seeming, we drink our beers and talk about books. we talk about leif, and friendship, we talk to hayley, about joe, love, marriage. after beni introduces me to an attractive older man, alone, standing across from me at the heater, we discuss oakland, the housing and the areas, the man leaves, and is replaced by a creepy seeming younger light haired kid in a big necklace. over-eager he strikes up a conversation i cannot get out of, and definitely do not want to be in, i don't see beni, who had likely disappeared yet again inside, and the kid begins to show more and more interested, but with dull questions about why i was there. beni appear behind me to the right and grabs me, literally sweeping me away, "lucky guy" the child announces bitter, and loudly, this angers beni, until i thank him. 
"you want to go on that walk?" i was so surprised he remembered, sure my face showed it, i told him that i did. we talk to alex for a bit, then leave together, telling those in the bar that we would shortly return, which i knew we would, i trusted the things he said to me. he grabs my hand as soon we are on the sidewalk, it's freezing cold, and i was so grateful to be in his sweater. we're both smiling wide, walking briskly towards i wasn't sure. "i know somewhere cool we can go". we cross the street into the national lot, and everytime our hand holding breaks he reaches for it again. in the parking lot he makes us trade sweaters, slipping his giant coat onto my shoulders. he never made fun of me when i said i was scared of heights, saying he got me over and over, every time that i needed to hear it. i could feel his strength as he helped me down the rocks and through the path, he held my hand every change of grade, and used the flashlight on his phone only when he worried about my footing. he chose two flat rocks or maybe pieces of cement for us to sit on, telling me this was the place. i sat to his right, and together we looked out onto the orange-lit rolling water. we stared at the stars, and talked about his family, our friends, life. he asks me things like my middle name. that is girlfriend was eleven years older. he asked what i wanted to talk about, he explained that he wanted to get to know me better. i replied that i didn't know what i wanted to talk about, he said that was alright. i told him that i thought the moon was orange, but it was actually a distant porch light. i didn't feel compelled to tell him any of my problems, i felt a missed sort of peacefulness. we held hands, and looked at each other. he laughed at all my comments, and tried to warm me up with his breath. staring into each other's eyes, speaking nothing at all, he finally asks if i was wanting to kiss him. i respond vaguely yes, and smile, he responds that he really really has been wanting to. finally i ask him why he hadn't. "i am waiting for the right moment", "i like to wait." after he says that he pauses, and sort of looks around, innocently. he decided that this actually is not a bad moment, the trees and the rocks and the water and the stars. i don't say anything, until we begin to talk a little more, it's quiet for a few moments, and before i could think about it his lips are touching mine, and then are gone. 
i look at him, he says something like he wanted it to be a surprise, proudly. i say nothing, and lose track of time kissing softly on the rocks. he's reaching in his jacket pockets (on me) for his lighter, there is not one. i search the contents of my bag, equally as desperate. he is sincerely frustrated, at how much he wanted to smoke a cigarette, right here, right now. he tells me about his nicotine dependency and all the other. this makes him disappointed, i apologize for my questions, and watch his head rest in his arms. as time passes, i speak what i didn't want to, that we could leave, find a lighter. he immediately declines, and asks me if that would make me sad if he had accepted, i admit a little, he says "yeah", it wasn't like that, he didn't want to go. we hang out until it's cold and we want to see his dog, he helps me up the rocks, every step of the way, and reaches for my hand again in between, he tells me we have to see jeff first, then we'll go to alex's for odessa. 
back at the bar, jeff is very drunk and very devastated we had abandoned him, beni repeats "we came back, we came back, we came back". the three of us talk for a while, above jeff's love life, texting conversation, and about me replacing him to beni, and their plans for the next day. hunter says he was my first kiss, and looks at beni, saying he will be my last. beni scoots my chair closer to his, with me in it. beni at one point picks me up, after me telling him to not, and kisses me while i'm in the air. it's last call, and we hang out inside. beni talks to jeff about me behind their matching black hats, he tells the bartender about an angel, they all look over at me. i scoff, and sit by him at a bar stool. we leave, and i instantly text lizz "we are hanging out monday", instead of "i need you here now". 
hunter, jeff, beni and i walk up the hill to alex's. beni is attentive, asking me things when i am quiet. beni is freezing but refuses his jacket. i get my things from my car, and start getting ready for bed. beni is freaking out, his dog had torn up everything, and was probably hungry, and probably left alone for too long. i was feeling selfish, and cold, and hungry. and very tired, and knew the better me would help clean up and comfort him, but i didn't. i put on sweats, brushed my teeth, ate some dried peas to help my stomach. charging my phone, i sit on the floor by the plug, and attempt to catch up on real life for a bit, though it all seemed false. as i scroll through my phone uninterested i feel a surge of energy in the bedroom doorway, beni's mood is intensely sad, not dark, but defeated, and i knew the disappoint in self well. i put my phone down, asking if he is alright, he replies that he shouldn't have left his dog, but he has nowhere to go. you can't have a car when you're living out of your dog, he says, corrects himself, then rests his head on my lap. we look at each other for a long while, not speaking, and i occasionally touch his hair, he touches my face, my hands, i lean down and kiss his soft, sad, upside down face. in a somber sadness, after he tells himself and odessa that they'll go to the park and play ball tomorrow, jeff and hunter come in. jeff give us a look, and hunter says that he had forgot that i was there. they get their cigarettes and whatever else, and all head outside to the deck. 
i crawl under all the blankets in alex's bed, and am too tired for anything else. i shiver, half-asleep. at some time alex's comes in the front door, and says hello to the dark empty house, i say hello back from the blankets, and we chat for a bit before she join the boys on the porch. finally i am cozy, and recovered from the outdoors, and fall asleep. i wake up to someone gently lying on the bed, i feel an arm wrap around me and pull me in. beni and i fall asleep, until alex comes in and says we should to the guest bed. the guest bedroom is icy, his dogs hops in beside him, and beni shuts the door. beni intertwines his legs and arms in mine as i shake, i remember thinking how ridiculous it might look. i warm up, and we kiss until we are asleep again. we wake up every few hours, his dogs breathing scares him awake, and his worry wakes me, his kisses my forehead, my arms. light is peering in through the blinds, we're sleepy and sweaty, and he takes off his shirt. i listen to the church bells, i try counting them drowsily, i watch him sleep, i look at his dog, i sleep. it goes on this way for a while, not knowing the time, waking up, then falling asleep again, we smile, and kiss, and hold hands. he's asleep, and i take off my shirt, cozy but hot, and pull him closer. we lay with our same stomachs pressing up against each other. i rest my head again on his shoulder. when he wakes up for real he says water quietly, but neither of us can move. at some point i go pee and swish around some toothpaste. at some point he gets a giant container of water. in my head i subconsciously do my little test, to see if he doesn't offer me water, offers me water, or hands me water. my eyes were barely open so i concluded it didn't matter either way, but when i open them, he is holding out the container for me. back in bed, we seemed to have no want to leave. "why does oakland seem so far away now?" the first words he says to me. i don't respond to any of his future-talk, i touch his facial scruff and look at his hands. we whisper back and forth for a little while, he says he came to bed at 5am, until i ask if we should wake up alex and jeff. he said he was just thinking that, and i tell him it's his turn to wake everyone up, so he does.

"It made me think maybe human's not such a bad thing to be"

"I'll walk you out."

"two weeks before is a long time" he says

"no it's not" I say, getting into my car