A Suitable Goodbye

"I had to change the combination to the safe
Hide it all behind a wall let people wait
And never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break"

His Name Is Different

if I could only find and pinpoint the moment when I changed from looking at things for what they are to what they are now, or are similar.
As he asks, in the same voice, "did your water go down the wrong pipe?"
I wasn't choking, while I said yes, 


I was trying to decipher whether or not he would say that.

A Reflection

"Now I know a disease that these doctors can't treat. You contract on the day you accept all you see Is a mirror and a mirror is all it can be. A reflection of something we're missing.  

And language just happened. It was never planned. And it's inadequate to describe where I am In the room of my house where the light's never been Waiting for this day to end. "

I Walked Into The Woods

 "I felt lost and found with every step I took."

If I Go

Let me go quietly. All I ever wanted was silence.

Can't Stay Away

Replace a few names and you can relive the same situation 
more times than you can imagine.


  "A blush only reminds me how blood
  is under the surface of everything."

Faint Hearted

faint of heart

Fig. people who are squeamish; someone who is sickened or disturbed by unpleasantness or challenge.

Adj.

1.

faint-hearted - lacking conviction or boldness or courage;

It was felt that the heart was the seat of emotions and being faint of heart meant you lacked bravery and was easily overcome by emotions

I Am Nothing On My Own

"What are your vices?"

If I could just have one night absent of excruciating dreams.


And just like it, it has no clear beginning or end.

Fairness

If there is a god, he is determined to make certain that in spite of my attachment to my earnest and endearing notions of exemption of verbal abusiveness for those kind cowards so undeserving of violence in any form or manner, I learn my lessons in fairness firsthand. This heeds strongly until all ideas of injust defilement are beaten out of me, and following, my quiet prospect and avidity that all overcome torment will be rewarded, and counterbalanced by then much due unfaltering kindness, delicacy, and comprehension, by god's good integrity.

Impervious

my vision is clouded now with fakes and liars, petty hardships and regret
remember when you told me that you had eyes just for me, and I was the only honest one left?

home is where your heart is, and I drive by on occasion just to feel a tiny spark of anything at all.

fingers crossed this journey is a little more than just a guilt trip. you weren't along for the ride, but I thoughtfully brought your baggage just in case.

I still feel your presence in cased in all the sweet mushy soft spots, and scathing brooding darkness that presses why I'd still exist.

someone's telling me I just might die after this, and should find it appropriate if you read my letter, and didn't feel a word of this.

whether it's a circle or a spiral,
I know how this plays out.

Swimming Through Crocodile Tears

I dislike displaying that I am in truth a blubbering baby into everyone's face all of the time. I thank heavens for those who make my feet feel as though they are touching the earth, even for a little.

Here I Am, But Mostly Then

Post-mortem depression.

Madeshift

I've walked one hundred miles
in faulty shoes that you created
I don't blame you,
knowing(ingly) I made the strangeness
that hung high over everything
and that induced it
to be makeshift
but I madeshift
it
all results then were shoddy
of everything we produced
like all the tools you gave me
to walk away, from you
all things except
the happiness it made
me
so I did everything for you
like turn my cheek
the ones you made
just like all of my imperfections
something bearable

created by a god
gone lazy
and gave us some things
(deservingly) makeshift
but our skin was bearable
when someone else made it so;
liked it so much
I guess my praise just lasted
without reassurance or renewal
(you know it's still here
inside of me)
yours is expired,
and very much gone

Grotesque

It works like a dream catcher.



I was dreaming, and you walked silent and effortlessly into your house, of course I am there as well, since I am asleep. I struggle to attempt to meet your nonchalance in our conversing, it's not difficult to tell who's winning. There was a funeral I was attending, which is my sole reason for being in your living room, a place that could only be less comprehensible to you for me to be in real life. I tell you we are leaving, though in your presence all those who surround become less than shadows I cannot even see.
Stripped naked of all that comforts and conceals me, you left, and I looked at myself straight in the mirror, and hated that person, and everything that was, if I was part of it.

Like Dipping The Brush Back

""