I had a dream we reached and held hands but our fingers didn't fit

The Fictional Pain

"Palm 
To notice your palm in your dream represents your generosity and openness, especially if they are open. You are always willing to help others. If you dream that your palm is closed, then it means that there is something that you are trying to hide or shield.

Bloody Hands 
To see blood on your hands signifies that you are experiencing some sort of guilt."

we said we were sorry

  In my dream he told me that he did not know what I was feeling. For the first time in my life i responded that I did not know either.

Rabbit

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Killing
To dream that you kill someone indicates that you are on the verge of losing your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards her or him in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed. Identify the characteristics of this person and ask yourself which of these qualities you are trying to put an end to.

Rabbit
To see a rabbit in your dream signifies luck, magical power, and success. You have a positive outlook on life. Alternatively, rabbits symbolize abundance, warmth, fertility and sexual activity. Perhaps your sex life needs to be kept in check. The dream can also be associated with Easter time and your own personal memories of Easter.

In particular, to see a white rabbit in your dream symbolizes faithfulness in love. The white rabbit also serves as a guide to steer you toward the right direction. To see a black rabbit in your dream refers to fear of intimacy.
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Remiscent

"Picture Frame
To see or place a picture in a picture frame in your dream represents a wish to have a current situation or relationship remain the same as it is now. You dread change. Perhaps you are reminiscing of the past. Consider what is depicted on the picture for additional significance. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on "being framed" for something. Is someone in your walking life undermining or working against you?"

Repurposed

in my dream, after i walked by you, you told me to leave you alone for a while.
i can't write anymore unless i miss you.
in my dream, i sent you a letter, you thanked me sincerely because you, too, knew that you deserved better.
i finally, finally had found purpose again,
until, that is, that i woke up.

Different Means of Speaking

I'm half asleep in a bedroom at my dad's house. it's not dark enough so I'm sort of covering my head, and holding my phone. I hear the door open and someone enters the room, I immediately close my eyes and feign sleep, listening to the person approach me. Not certain whether it is my dad or not, a figure comes up to me, does not say anything, and whether they are convinced I'm sleeping or not, they drop a couple of small animals onto my chest. The person, I think is my dad but still not sure, exits the room, and I pet the cat for a while, on the bed with me. I can hear the other one walking around, and eventually it licks me, my eyes are still shut, so I guess that it's lucy. I play with it, and the cat, when I open my eyes it is actually two cats. There is a darkish gray one, still on my body and an equally lean one the same size but orange, further down the bed. I am happy and pet them and play with them more, even though their being there didn't make complete sense to me, I didn't care. A bit later someone else enters the room, it's a tall silhouette but not as tall, and discernibly female. The girl seems older than I am, sweet, black straight hair, dark freckles on her back in a strappy sundress. I'm still lying there not really able to move, she comes to the left side of the bed, the room is totally light, sunny now, and we connect (somehow) for a while. what seems like hours go by, or least a long time, we never speak and it's nice, finally I break, from the silent seriousness, the looking, and smile widely. She watches me closely, and this makes her smile big too, so we smile together and it feels good. After this she puts her elbow on the bed, arm up, and is blank expression-ed again. It is her right arm, and she wants to arm wrestle, in a playful way, but we do not know each other and she does not know that I am left-handed. I pause a moment thinking of all this, then reach for her arm with my own right arm. We rest there for a bit, applying no force, looking each other in the eyes. I move my arm, putting some pressure towards my left, she does the same, we lightly do this back and forth. I try then to push her arm down and I do, curious a little that I won with my weaker arm, but she wasn't really trying. I motion for her to switch arms, so that we can do this with our lefts. She looks at me confused then, furrowed brows, and tilting her little bob, her bangs stay the same, but her hair falls to her right. I say aloud then that I am left-handed, which is why I suggested we switch, she looks a little surprised, and I assume it's because she did not think of that, then she responds "you speak, in a different voice". It was strange finally hearing the sound of each other, I liked how I thought that she was explaining it; like we had been talking all day wordlessly. We try with our left hands, then give up fairly quickly, laughing at it. She's on the edge of the bed now, and I am laying again, she is seated sort of awkwardly, so I try to scoot over to make more room, but I'm so wrapped and tangled in the blankets that I can't. I do my best, then speak again, that she should lay next to me if she would like to. I wanted to kiss her maybe, or just feel close to her. I realize I am in my bra, and she doesn't mind, she also takes off the top part of her blue dress, and comes to lay with me. We are facing each other, and I am increasingly aware that I cannot move, she watches as I struggle to reposition. She is quiet, and I tell her I'm just going to face the same way she is, and do my best to do so. I didn't feel close enough but there was nothing I could do. Someone comes into the house to get her, whoever she came with. I ask if she was staying here, and she never answers. She stands up, a little disheveled, and quickly puts her dress back on before anyone enters the bedroom door. I watch from the bed, and realize that the situation would be easily misinterpreted by someone else seeing it. I look at her hair, I look at her pretty face, I look out of the window to my right and there are cars and people leaving. I observe the three cars, parked differently all over the driveway, and wonder which one she will be getting to. She's gone when I look back, so I try to watch her leave instead, but I never see her outside. The first car leaves, the van, and I give up, and begin to look around the room. On top of the bookshelf, near the window, I see a white mannequin face, on its head is a black wig, a very short bob, short straight bags, light and a bit crooked, and I try to understand. Was this one of her's? What does that mean? I think of the story with a sci-fi ending; she wasn't real all along.

I dreamt this, whatever the opposite of a premonition is. I'm so fucking miserable, sadness envelopes me.

Glad To See

last night I had a dream that you came to me

you said that you were happy to see 

after all this time

I still find pleasure in misery 

One Day

when she told me that he is always 

and completely a product of his environment

I finally, truly understood 

why he was miserable with me

and the storm comes

just because it does

and I can't breathe in fear

when I think about us both drowning

nearby but taken down by different waves

(you cannot drown together)

so violent, and large in size

a slow rolling

with the shore near

I only want to stand there

to be capable of helping you

we are standing together by your car

and I am dreaming

you're leaving and you have to and we are outside of your house

after we hug

you still don't go

and you say that you wish that you woke up earlier

so that we could have had a longer day together 

Waking Feels the Same

"Clearer, please!", I begged of you. Out of frustration, lack of patience, or both, you caved. 
Six something years I've been trying to even the score, level the playing field, reach for the ball in your court. Why do you get to haunt me? Why do you get to speak to me, in all things, especially my dreams? It's my turn, I want a chance, I know what to do.

And when I finally understood what you were saying, you said simply, "I cannot talk to you."

Grey

I've dreamt about you the last three nights in a row

I suppose things have gotten that bad

I told you about the first night

where we were looking for something I needed, and I made us give up

I will probably not tell you about last night

how we were with a group but got a moment alone

I grabbed your hand cause I couldn't not

and how you said yes, lets talk

and you didn't want to hurt my feelings

and how I didn't want to hurt your feelings

I told you that I did not want you to have to try that hard

you explained honestly

that you did not mind

I let you finish but then said

that I did

"Hands 
To dream of your hands represent your relationships with those around you and how you connect with the world. Hands serve as a form of communication and can represent authority, hate, protection, justice, etc depending on the gesture. Perhaps you need to lend a helping hand to someone. If someone else is giving you a helping hand, then it implies your need for help. Do not be afraid to ask for assistance or to depend on others from time to time. Moreover, the left hand symbolizes your graciousness and your feminine, receptive qualities, while the right hand symbolizes the masculine and active attributes. The right hand may also be a pun for some decision or something being "right". If you dream that your hands are detached or see disembodied hands, then it indicates that you are not getting your point of view across. You are not being understood or someone is not understanding you. The dream may also symbolize feelings of loneliness.

To dream that you are holding hands with someone represents love, affection and your connection with that person. Your dream may also reflect anxieties about losing touch with her/him or that you are drifting apart."

Appreciated Being Connected to You

and woke up ashamed.

"Hugging 
To dream that you are hugging someone symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate.

To dream that someone is hugging you suggests that you need to let down your guard and allow your true feelings to show. It also means that you need to allow yourself to heal emotionally."

I Made Room

last night I was in a room 

and the only person I am sure that was there with me was my brother

your brother came in too

I exclaimed his name

we grinned equally as wide

soon after 

you glided into the frame

you were wearing black, I remember

you did not sit down

I guessed this was because there were

other people on the couch with me

I scooted to my right,

making almost enough room for you next to me

I asked if you would sit there

you said "that is where I wanted to sit"

this made me happier than I can recall

being in the last couple of years in my waking life

I examined your apartment at one point,

this was from afar

but I realized you lived as I did, now

just a bit nicer

as I drove to work "baby I'm amazed by the way I feel for you"

came on the radio

you used to love this song

normally my cue to change the station

today I turned it up

I thought about you for that whole song

and the following song, too

it felt

really, really good 

next time I see you

I will smile so fucking big

my teeth will start to fall out 

and I will realize

I'm dreaming 

again

Living Room

I had a dream we were in your house, and it looks just as it does when I dream of it. When we slept we slept in the living room on separate red couches, I took the smaller one, facing yours. I got up during the night and was walking around cause I couldn't sleep, and you woke up too, and asked to almost no one why you were sleeping cramped and curled up on a couch when you could be in your own bed. I was wishing we were on the same couch. I told you that you should go sleep in your bed then. You asked, "Is that what you want me to do?"

I think, I hope I said no.

I woke up with the realization that you are everyone.

Do You Ever Dream of Me

I had a really horrific dream last night, of course it was so comforting at the time. I was inside a totally unrecognizable apartment, based off of absolutely nothing I've seen. You were lounging there, sprawled out on a couch by the kitchen. Austin didn't see you, but was home, and you asked if you could stay for a while tonight. I looked up at Austin, and decided that however this went I wanted you here bad enough to say yes. Also you were here, and you asked, and you found me. When I asked if you had been to our place before you told me that you had, and tried to make me remember. I recollected a vague memory of you walking through uninvited, just looking around. Austin finally saw you, he was startled for a moment, then you two talked and it was fine. It was nice that he was okay/understanding of you being there, and then he left. You and I were together again and it felt so fucking good to me, we walked around the place talking and I felt at peace with everything, like life would be okay. I could sense that you were a little off, or down, or you wouldn't have showed up like this, wouldn't be needing me, but I didn't need to know, I just wanted to enjoy our time together, and was so much so that I was not in fear of it ending.

My Boulder

You are sitting with a friend in a restaurant, everything is white and serene, and you are skinny, tan and beautiful. I am carrying an enormous rock (I was trying to find someone to explain the meaning of the spiraling black stone). I am standing next to you, you ask what I am doing here (I had a gift to give you). We exchange pleasantries, and I remember thinking that you were surprisingly nice to me. As I am about to leave, trying to get out of the shameful conversation, you look at my face and I can feel it. You then take your three fingers and rub them, possibly playful, most likely mocking, on my left cheek. Immediately I knew what you were doing, you were trying to lessen the redness of my face, I was blushing so hard, I remember thinking I couldn't even imagine it. I ended up telling you I was nervous, then made it for the door with my boulder.

Closing The Gap

"Ghost 
To see a ghost in your dream represents something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates that you are feeling disconnected from life and society. Try to figure out what the ghost wants or what it is looking for. The dream may also be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior.

Chase 
To dream that you are being chased signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is a metaphor for some form of insecurity. 

House 
To see a house in your dream represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche.

To dream that you are inside a stranger's house indicates that there is something that you have yet to discover about yourself. It may mean that there are repressed memories, fears or emotions that you are not confronting.

Haunted House 
To dream of a haunted house signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings.

To dream that you buy a house that is possessed or haunted suggests that you are trying to run away from the past. However, things have a way of catching up with you and you must deal with them or live with the consequences.

Car 

To see a haunted car in your dream represents unfinished goals. You had started off on a path or journey, but never reached the end. Perhaps life had taken you on a different direction that you had planned or intended.

There were dozens of cars lining the winding driveway of this person's home, I couldn't get anywhere near them, just stared out at them, through the windows of this haunted house.

The ghosts were sweet to me, it was the living whom were malevolent. 

My Wound

We were walking with your family and friends ahead of us in a city. It begins to pour rain and you feign confidence, decide to cross that intersection on your bike anyway. I watch concernedly, the light turns from yellow, to red, and you are leaning hard, sliding from thick rain and hard wind. We all gape as you fall, you slide out, try to catch yourself, save it. Soundless, I remember just being so thankful you made it through the traffic. You got up immediately, humiliated and angered with yourself. You walked your bike over to me. I started talking about how it wasn't your fault, but the downpour, and how I was worried about you in such a dangerous situation. Realizing this wasn't helping or what you wanted to hear I said, "Are you okay?" I put my hand on your shoulder then, but couldn't feel anything through your jacket, I remember wishing I could. Laconically, you told me that you wish you had taught yourself better, and we looked at your hand where you had broken the fall. Your siblings and mother saw that you were alright and kept walking, we continued to walk too, conversing all the while. As we caught up on each other's lives the best we could, I looked down, feeling a sharp excruciating pain. I audibly spoke, "Ow" which I instantaneously regretted upon what I saw. I lifted my left hand, and saw your injury there. You glanced at it as well, so I quickly hid it, hoping you wouldn't notice it was identical to yours. It hurt still, but I made no further comment. Instead, told you about my brother and my travels, wanting you to conclude that I was independent, and happy. You spoke a lot too, I remember thinking about how much you had to say, I took it in the best that I was able, conscious that our time was limited. We did not mention my wound again, and definitely not yours.

Trying Not to Try to Make You Smile

A group of people were in this white room, it wasn't a party, looked more like a classroom. I saw you there, and we kept our distance, distracted by our own things and people. Your friend had broken her finger there somehow, I figured it was because she was drunk, stupid or both. She was complaining loudly about not wanting to deal with it, or it to be broken. I didn't care much, and was annoyed by her entirely, although aware she was in closest proximity to you. On my way out the door I walked by you both standing there, and she was still talking noisily to no one in particular about not knowing what to do, and not wanting to do it (I figured she did not want what it looked like cosmetically). You blantantly did not wish to help, not acknowledging her whatsoever. As I passed, I felt like I wanted to respond, give advice, as no one else was. My mom having recently broken her toe or finger, I said it needed to be wrapped for a long while, choosing to look at the swollen and contorted ligament, instead of you. You listened then. She did not like what I had told her, saying, "So it's going to be like this for a very long time to forever". I spoke, "No, a long time, or forever." You laughed then, I heard it, looked up, saw it. My mind began to work then as it used to, a mechanism with the sole purpose of deciphering your thoughts and reasons for your actions. I wasn't certain if you were amused by my response, or how upset it had made her. I was deliberating on all of this, when she ran off, and you began then to talk to me. I concluded that I could stay a few more minutes, and prayed you weren't my reason for everything.




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Fingers 
To see your fingers in your dream symbolize physical and mental dexterity. They indicate manipulation, action and non-verbal communication. 

To dream that your fingers are injured or have been chopped off denote your anxieties about your ability to accomplish some demanding task or perform in some waking situation.

Ring Finger 
To dream of your ring finger represents success, popularity and creativity. It also has association with marriage, union, commitments and issues of the heart.
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