Everything Was Overexposed

"I remember the ring you gave me, 

how I smashed it into pieces trying to decide if it was real.

What note could you have left?"
"Last night I tore the feathers from my pillow searching for the songs of the birds.
Morning came silent"

So Good To See You

"she comes to see me inside the museum
comes every morning, and again when she can
stokes her blistered hand across my glass container
saying "it's so good to see you back here again""

I Love You All

""

this means nothing

Passing Simply

I can't stay asleep, I can't stay awake
I tear my bed to shreds
like all that belongs to me and could keep me safe
I am dozing off, panicked inside
and I'll treat you worse as soon as you say you're mine
I am only nervous in my head, with too much to hide
as she presses hard and deep on my tender arm
I asked confused how she found my soft spot (concealing my alarm)
and she explained to me, how she did that so quickly
said that if you are always looking, it becomes easy
I understood it then, everything
and wanted to explain myself to everyone I knew
but I withheld my tongue, remembering the error of contacting you
I know it was fair, but I've never wanted to even any score and that's the truth
speaking of, I apologize for the honesty, knowing you already miss my ruse
I can hardly eat, hardly leave, this house, so I am remorseful for this attitude
I can't stay asleep, can't stay awake
I tear my bed to shreds
I was going to better myself this year, but messaged you instead


I asked how she listened to my answers without any words
she reminded me of the difference between my mind and my head


but I made mistakes and they're wearing me out
and I was too tired to stand, so fell asleep on his couch
I sit on the grass, I sit on the phone, bleeding out of my mouth
I am sorry you are on the other end, crying as my brother or friend
the only thing worse than being unfixable is what is in you that I cannot mend
though I will try, and wear myself out in my mind, it's absurd
and there is too much to say, always, so I do not speak a word
just fidget and shake, occupy my body, a lot too antsy, and handsy
you use me until it's too exhausting for us both, too tired to say goodbye
to a passing fancy


you leave me where we always, always were: in my head
(for your sake)
so I can't sleep, I can't stay awake
I tear my bed to shreds


dreaming that loving you wasn't a mistake
loving isn't a mistake
it is great
it is something great

Today And Most Days

"You have a wiry nervous pulse."
 "This is as calm as it gets."


I realize myself nearly every day, and feel sorry for all those involved.

Avoiding The Real

""

As Much Me As You

what has happened?

June Tenth

"And you have never been proven wrong once."

   "Exactly."  

"You're going to have to learn to leave jobs, and leave relationships." 

"You have no life. You have a social life, and I know that doesn't make you happy."

Store Up Great Details

"I feel great. I really mean it. I have to remember this for the next time I'm having a terrible week. Have you ever done that? You feel really bad, and then it goes away, and you don't know why. I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I'll feel great again. It doesn't work a lot, but I think it's very important to try." 

Lives We Leave Behind

"Leave me alone, for you know this isn't the first time
In fact this is twice in a row
That the angels have slipped through our landslide
And filled up our garden with snow
And I don't wish to taste of your insides
Or to call out your name through my phone
For the glory boys at your bedside will love you
As long as you're something to own

Follow me through a city of frost covered angels
I swear I have nothing to prove
I just want to dance in your tangles
To give me some reason to move
But to take on the world at all angles
Requires a strength I can't use"

Excess Of Light

"As individual attention is habitually and excessively focused on the façade of the persona, the deeper, neglected aspects of the personality continually sabotage the individual’s conscious intentions. In order to account for these frustrations, while also avoiding their true source, the shadow is conveniently projected onto other people.


The first sign of shadow projection appears as a strong emotional reaction to anyone or anything in the environment. More precisely, the first-person experience of such affect feels visceral, impulsive and automatic, more like an unconscious reflex than a conscious, intentional response. The instinctive reflex arising out of such affect then projects the source of the feeling outwardly onto some other person, thing or situation, often in the form of emotionally pungent criticism and blame. It is this very tendency, in fact, which can serve as the prime indicator that the shadow is in play. By becoming mindfully aware of the people to whom the persona is positively or negatively attracted, in addition to the outwardly focused perceptions which accompany such attraction, it is possible to recognize the shadow."




“Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind’s eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye; and he who remembers this when he sees any one whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh; he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter light, and is unable to see because unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light.”

245

The past is now.

Rings Of Flowers Round Your Eyes

"and I love you, for the rest of your life (when you're ready)."

So Fragile

""