Thoughts That I Couldn't Stop From Repeating

my stomach butterflies didn't know where to go

and I stopped doing all that stupid stuff
like blaming my ailments, and strengths on you

though in your absence, my body doesn't know what to do
it's a good thing my head doesn't follow suit

and on that anxious loop, I wait for you to come make me still
it is not your job
but I know that you will

I loved you so desperately, and I can see that now
like forever wasn't long enough
and you did go, but you did return, and I do not know how

I thought that we were two destined parts to make complete
like you remember the very first words said between you and me
and I, I saw how it would end
I told you
years before
what I remember? crying outside of your door
not for what side I was on, but for the coming back in
not for what sides we were on, but for the letting you win

I still love you, and everything remains the same
though what if you do not like the ways that I have changed

have you ever loved someone so much you could not look at them?

what if there were a person, who knew what your exact response would be to anything they said? would there be a 'point' in speaking with that person? for one of you?

My Faults And Failures

 "I felt two failures;

 they follow like shadows" 

 I am realizing that people do not really like one another.

Every Night

"I had this pocketwatch from a love I couldn’t claim
lost in Luxembourg, whispering your name
to a sculpture garden where time won’t heal all wounds
without regret, I still remember every night with you"

"he urged me, sort of to strip it down to this kind of essential idea of this one relationship, and how this one non-relationship, how the rejection of this one non-relation could sort of form this person"

Complexities

well I cut my hair, the same day that I realized that I could

if there is a god, he loves nothing quite like seeing 
overly complicated things happens to simple people

Look Into Me

When everything feels dark

I watch your eyes flicker

my love for you is eternal

I won't waste my time regretting waiting for this to end

you know and I know and you know I know I'll always be your friend

Trust the foreshadowing

Unsuccessful In Constricting

that small thing you would do with your mouth, trying hard not to smile

I can feel it in my heart

I can feel it doing the same thing 

Imagine my surprise
someone trying to love you as I do
right before my eyes
I laugh
which I know is unkind
so apologize

Momentarily

     and I try so hard to live in the moment

         but seldom is the moment enough

Years

“

There are years that ask questions and years that answer.

Sad Face

"do you love me 

cause I think I'm going under

I've finally realized this is nothing that you wanted to see

you're a liar and I hate you for that so much

but I forgive you cause I really want to see you again"

Long Enough

  "You can blame yourself for anything if you think long enough about it"