I Saw

  
  When you peel back your layers, they bend and curl, sometimes out of your reach

  well sometimes inside you might not like what you see underneath

  so fold yourself back, smooth yourself over, you stayed pretty

Any Of It

     I Can't Do This On My Own.

Keep People

if i could go back

i think all i would do is

keep people better

keep myself better

which would help

and i do have faith

that god's good grace

will carry me about like the sea

if i were supposed to i would see your face

and if you were supposed to, you would see me

perhaps it would make you sick
if you read the list
of the things i am trying now to achieve
this is not why people
should grieve (leave)

Breathing

""

No, I Am

"Beaten down by reason."

And How Dare You

"Am I really a dead dog if all of my meals are served to me hand-tossed on the cold floor?
I play dead when he creeps in, he muffles my breathin'
and I'm searchin' for a reason
inside a body lifeless cold and alone
I've never known different
in fact I'm indifferent, to anybody
this book's words are repeating and they dance on the ceiling
and they muffle my breathing and they call me names.




How dare you?"

This Now

"This Now."

Dining Dead

              "are we like couples you see in restaurants?                 

                 "

Winter's Going

"We unscrewed ourselves and made up new identities
walked across the water and slaughtered all our enemies
one hundred square feet was all the space we needed
I threw up my hands because I knew I was defeated
promises were thrown around just like confetti
and broken as easily as uncooked spaghetti
our fuses were short, and we went off like rockets
she gave me a kiss, and then I emptied my pockets


nothing to do but lay low and hide out
we sought shelter until the fireworks died out
the world was too much for us
made instead for insomniacs 
we played dead or else just stayed in bed
desperate for escape, we both needed a chance
to go it alone and by the seat of our pants
joined at the hips we took on the dreaded task
covered our eyes, crossed our fingers and headed west"

So Fickle

"It's just that people are so fickle

and really I could lose you

just as quickly as I've gotten you

and that's the kinda thought

that makes me nervous

I'm worried if you'll really think I'm worth it

when the rush wears off 

and you're left with this busted person

but if you tell me you will

I will do what I can to believe it

So baby all these things that I've seen

last night while asleep

this morning they're messing with me

and now I'm anxious as hell

and looking for help

to the pleasent and painless 

some story to tell

with a throughline of calm

that could stop me from being myself

Cause all I think is how I want to be your fever

just to know I make you heated
cause I'm worried you might see me more like a blanket
who's there for comfort and for cover
from the glare of former lovers
all the passion that kissed you and bit you
til you were devoured
and I'd like to get better
cause thinking like this is torture

Maybe if I wake up and quit dreaming

I could shake the shit i'm fearing
and I could feel like I'm just freaking out
for no good reason
I'll tell you what
it's a line I can cross once I get there
I'm not ever leaving"

Soft

                    "I'd walk soft if I were you."

Everybody

"Everybody has a box."

Quiet

                "It makes me wonder what else she didn't have the heart to tell me."

Like Anyones Asking

"I caught you caroling and giving grief

Thought you were cannonballing after me

I let your actions speak for themselves

And wished you well

But you're a mirror I cannot avoid

Strung out and jittery and paranoid

A leaky battery that cant keep charged

Get in the car and say what you mean

Explain yourself to me and I'll try not to judge you more than you would

Let me help, I promise not to tell

Like anyones asking or anyone should

First time I met you I was full of fear

Knew that eventually you'd disappear

Just when I needed you youd burn to smoke

And off you go

Just come back and peel away the mess

Lay here beside me and open your eyes

Take it back your dignity your tact

Turn back to the person you tried to let die

Open your mouth and say the words

You used to wish you heard

Back when you focused enough to be good

And if you're gone

An endless false alarm

Just remember I loved you

As long as I could"

""