Water

"I saw water

I said I wanted to break my friends
But my dependency won't let me away
I'd like to think that I can work it out some
But I want to be put into the ground

Today I needed a break
My friends are up in mountains and I'm drowning in lakes
I swallowed water right in front of her face
Just to show that she had nothing to say

I felt lighter
I impressed her

But my emotions ran unopposed
I felt just like Brian Jones
I've never felt that lost before
I just don't feel incredible

But me, well of course I liked you
Have time for me, I don't expect you to
I see me become a recluse
It's very easy to seclude

I saw water
I felt better

Well I woke up feeling embarrassed from
When I drowned in my swimming pool
You thought it was an accident
But I just can't get along with you

But me, well of course I liked you
But me, well of course I liked you
But me, well of course I liked you
But me, well of course I liked you"

THIS IS HONESTY, THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED.

Real

I really don't feel like a real human.

Contortion

Partially subconscious this time I turn this into that other thing just to see it through, see how it didn't when it did with you. But things and especially people don't work like that. Strangely it all went nearly identically the same in fact. Still trying to find peace you see, when the control and pattern is all me, I'm still trying to find peace in that.

And That's Fine

  Sometimes love is accommodating to faults you will soon worsen.

Halves

“I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn’t, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn’t realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it’s the halves that halve you in half. I didn’t know, don’t know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.”

Undone

     "SOME THINGS NEVER COME UNDONE
               AND THAT'S ENOUGH."

Night Driving

Headlights so close and bright in my rearview, they look like yours, blinding the path ahead, they are.

The Knot

The knot in my stomach
you severed your ties with
that was here before you
fingers crossed
tangled in something
the feeling of this

Chapped Lips

By the same logic (and feeling) of licking your lip to let your saliva cover it, lather it sticky and wet. It soon  dries painful, cracking and destroying the lip from the outside in, it bleeds from the conscious self induced reverse effected. You could potentially live a lot of aspects of a life this way.

"So I step quietly, the way that cat's move
But I'm bear-like. My head trapped in dear lights
You can call me John, I'm writing letters to the dark side of the moon tonight
My lovely Jane, you went away but the pain stayed
So I'm sending you a package to the address where you traded names
I made no claims on the identity theft
I'm more concerned about the home with no amenities left
And it's already a mess. The dust piles like your junk mail
So I eat away depression and crush the scale
You find yourself on the opposite side of the spectrum
Emaciated on a strict diet of bed crumbs
Me? I choose to wallow and I'll just swim in my fat
You...refuse to swallow so I see ribs from the back
This isn't an attack, it's an admission of guilt
I'm living in the past, kissing your ass, sipping your milk
But it's all bone and curdle. I saw stones in a circle
Stood in the middle. Told myself riddles in a robe that's purple
The murder weapon was an icicle
Is that the reason why I'm standing in this puddle with my eyes so full?
I fight feelings like a war on drugs
I'm a chemist with a test tube addiction born through coffee mugs
Our baby now is all growed up
Your car is still dead in my driveway while I wait for the tow truck
And you know what? I know I drove you away
I still don't think it was wrong so I don't know what to say
It's been a tough year."

First Time

""

Hang In

"Air is all you need
pull your last smoke through me,
come on, inhale,
pull it hard and leave,
Well here I am again,
we all break in our own way
but I don't remember such a bone cold chill on such a spring day,


you know I could never hang in as hard as I could hang on,
and here I am again."

Million

"Leonardo's Mona Lisa is just a thousand thousand smears of paint. Michelangelo's David is just a million hits with a hammer. We're all of us a million bits put together the right way."

Always Always Always

    "I wonder if you have the time to talk to me and see if I'm alright."


There are some things, no matter what you cannot fuck up
and I've found no greater solace and comfort in anything but that
you've taught me so much of what I've learned without even knowing the half
and you're never gone, and I'll never have to want you back
there are some people, no matter what they've been through
or maybe because of it they always come true
and I can always say exactly what I wish to say to you
not something I'm often comfortable to do
no often solace in honesty completely pure
and anything you wished or asked of me I'd be completely sure
I'll help you in any way I can
because you've helped me so sincerely though it wasn't part of your plan
when I needed you most
and one night it was pitch dark, you had a cigarette in hand
you used to tell me you appreciated I never voiced I wanted you to quit that bad
and you spoke, "Mollie, I know you have a lot of best friends..."
but that wasn't the end, you constantly made sure I felt rewarded
and if I did nothing last year I just hope you and ours I supported
I hold your secrets deep at heart, just like your lyrics and quotes
and how you always would lie in my bed or on my floor exactly when I needed you most
you never knew
your potential of what you could do
I know your down-trotted at times, always here and there
and know your sadness was always something I could hardly bare
but often the means by which we connected, being our feelings were always shared
I cherish every memory,
whether drunk in the kitchen or helping me climb down a mountain
you are one of the most dependable and pure people I will ever come across
always say what is on your mind, what was in your past, what's in your heart and you're never off
I'm finally and always me around you and it's just not the way I was guessing
you're perfect who you are and what you mean to me always, never what I was expecting
maybe I'll move, or had a friend faded or two
but I want you to know always you're with me, and as always this is truth
I felt it and meant it replying to everything, especially "Goodbye Mollie, I love you."