Inaudible Chatter

I am the quietest
when I have something to say

I never meant for
it to get this way

Sick Belly

a windowless room, without air

a conversation with no words, or movement

more of an absence 

than presence 

give me something to get sucked into

get me out of my small container hell

it looks like a white box on a calendar

I can cross it off, but the following day is the same regardless

Down in the Dumps

I concluded this is how I was meant to live

drenched in a nervous sweat,

too exhausted to stand,

slurring, stammering,

feeling 

terrible, 

looking the same,

hating myself, and every feeling and thought 

to cross my mind.

Beyond Empathy

It's over, it's over, it's over,

I say this over and over and over

until I am completely enveloped in the void of you

I look longingly at your lifeless body, with disgust, too

somehow, even now, I feel as though I relate

"I am shaking, shutter at the mention

of how little reasons we'll still be friends"

I am going to try and do better, just not today

Lord Knows

"You were a song I couldn't sing
caught like a bear by the bees with its hand in the hive
who complains of the pain of the sting
when I'm lucky I got out alive!
a life at best left half behind,
the taste of the honey still sweet on my tongue
and I'd run (Lord knows I've tried)
but there's no place on earth I can hide
from the wrong I've done"

End of April

Dangerous Acquaintances

     "Hurting someone is an act of reluctant intimacy."

Does Not Matter

“It is remarkable that different people will have different thoughts when they look at the same thing.”

“But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and that what you want does not matter.”

You Were Orphaned By Indifference

"It's bad enough feeling sad,

but feeling embarassed about your feelings.."

No One Knows Me Like You Do

 I was appropriate for your death bed

 but disposable with the opportunity of living life instead

 I held out my hand

 you left me hanging there for four years

 and subsequent to confirming all of my fears

 I retract when those draw close

 who do not know

 and I am now not sure what to do 

 because no one knows

 no one knows but you

I Am Not a Pathological Liar

 I just cannot remember the last time that I told the whole truth.

Eastar