Dilution

I watch all of my nervous habits surface, like oil and water; 
the separation between who I become and who I want to be.

Limbo

"You're in limbo"

Surpass

I catch myself staring time to time at your ora of sensitivity, 

or my gaze carelessly wandering towards your walls I was emotionally unable to hurdle. 

Or, tasting your bitterness towards my altercations, or sweet refuge, without me.

Alexandra

"Lift your face up to the sky in pain, as karma digs deep into your soul. 
Profuse apologies, as I try to reassure you, it is all going to be okay. You are okay, come back now."

Nobody, Not Even

"I know that someday you'll be sleeping, darling, likely dreaming off the pain.
I hope you'll hear me in the streetlight's humming, softly breathing out your name.
I know that even with the seams stitched tightly, darling, scars will remain.
I say we scrape them from each other, darling, and let them wash off in the rain.
And when they run into the river, oh no, let the water not complain.
I swear that even with the distance, slowly wearing at your name,
Your hands still catch the light the right way and
Our hearts still beat the same."

Pages and Pages

she reads my faux confidence like i'm not some open book. 

fuck you.

i'm reading between the lines, 

cause i love you.

and ripping out pages.

Buried

"I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear. 
It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear. 
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.
And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead."

Intricate Game

"there are no courts. i believe we're all just floating"

"there was never a game to begin with."

"yes. black abyss."

"that we fill with what we think should be this intricate game of rules and players."

Bore Me

"A searching and fearless immoral inventory
'Til every person with a story begins to bore me
I did what i had to do to get
To the place where your face wasn't such a blurry mess
I took all our favorite promises and dreams that we kept..."

Something Better

"Can you tell me 

can you tell 

can you tell

If there is something better

Cuz you know there always is 

There always is"

Other People

"I've lost all sense
of other people."

Narrowness

"I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well. Unfortunately, I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experience. Moreover, I, on my side, require of every writer, first or last, a simple and sincere account of his own life, and not merely what he has heard of other men's lives; some such account as he would send to his kindred from a distant land; for if he has lived sincerely, it must have been in a distant land to me."


"A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things."

Tact

"IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL TACT?"

n.

1. Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.

Reality

Real life isn't as fun.

But Still Too Much

never as broken as i but still too much,

Mattered

"It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, 
and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. 
Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. 
I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses -
that's what I loved the most, 
connecting with the people. 
Looking back, 
that's all that really mattered."

Allergic

you're scratching my back

your head is in my lap

you leave at two

she's calling you

Eight Eight Ten

Scratch that, enough about me already. I guess initially the ease of our dialogue comes to mind, succeeding comes embarrassment and how it crashes through all of our interactions and washes away what actually is. Also I think of you holding back, I rack my brain attempting to come up with some sort of reasoning for that.


I understood completely what happens, but did not comply. Nothing at all would be anything like this, and I wish I could be sure that it isn't just me, always me.

Blue

Heres to all the things I stopped believing in since you left me here   blue
I'm not that great, but I think you would be happy with how much I would adore   you

The Shade

SHADE:

a : the shadows that gather as darkness comes on

b : netherworld, hades

5

a : a disembodied spirit : ghost

b —used to signal the similarity between a previously encountered person or situation and one at hand ; usually used in plural <shades of my childhood>

6

: something that intercepts or shelters from light, sun, or heat

Weird German Girl

"You're more alone when you're with someone 
then when you are by yourself."

Learn From

Maybe I'm finally realizing it's true {we can be friends}, but I got, nothing to teach you.

Indifference

"You love when people are indifferent towards you."

Sense

Exactly How

"And he felt the way he felt in my dreams and I thought everything was happening exactly the way it was supposed to. And I was the happiest I've ever been. Happy and scared all at the same time. And if he had signed my belly he would have written something comforting. I was in love with him. That's why I'm keeping this baby. I was in love with him for four years. I barely knew him, but everything was exactly how I imagined it, everything was just how I pictured it. I had to keep this baby. I think he was the love of my life."

• "i had an epiphany today"
• "oh yeah? i'd love to hear"
• "it's a private one"
• "oh"
• 
  

• "i like your nails, most people don't go with flashy gold"

Away

"You think because you didn't call her back that she is going to move away?"

"Yes... that doesn't sound rational does it?"

Washed

"And then it came like summer rain, 
washed the cars and everything, 
felt clean for just a little while."

Summer

"And with that everyone laughed and walked inside. I hated my head. It always seemed to run faster than my body could. I told myself right then and there that I wasn’t gonna over think anything. I was gonna relax and treat this girl like she was summer [herself]. And I think [she] was gonna be just fine with that."

Flabbergasted

"Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others presence."

What Long Arms

"Well my dear, what long arms you have



All the better to hold you down"

Create The Love

We manifest the love we think we deserve.

Canyon

And when I voiced that I was leaving I heard your sigh of relief carry across the vast distance between us. Though it wasn't exactly expected, it did not blow me away.

But Cannot

"
"

Breaks

"You can't get attached. 

Shit breaks."

Secretly Believe

""

Your Own

"Just think of this and me
as just a few of the many things
to lie around,
to clutter up your shelves
and I wish you weren't worth the wait
cause there are some things
that I'd like to say to you"

Hooks

"The hooks are in the details."

Nature

Such is human nature to impress as soon as not feeling required to.

Substitute

And unlike most I could never be at all satisfied with any means of a substitute for verbal communication. Silence exclusively could suffice, maybe.

Mechanism

Flash. Give me mindless busy work as a coping mechanism. 

"Wake up." 

"I'm trying."

We Are What's Left

"So sing for every buried moment that you'd thought would never end.
And sing your fears about the future; and a dirge for faded friends.
For all the love that you had held to, why it somehow failed to keep.
And sing each minute you've been frightened; every hour that you've lost sleep
And sing for all your friends and family; sing for those who didn't survive.
But sing not for their final outcome; sing a song of how they tried.
We live amidst a violent storm; leaves us unsatisfied at best,
So fill your heart with what's important, and be done with all the rest.
We are what's left of what we once were
We are falling far behind."

Absurd

How could anyone ever watch this and see God? Fuck that.

"I'm going there to give him cash,

Hear him laugh bring him back

If I cant tear down these walls

I'll slip in through the crack

If that crack ain't big enough

I'm sick enough to get committed,

Where he's been I ain't been

Allowed to visit, and I miss him

"

Gently Please

"You were a medicine cabinet ball.
I came crawling, I came crawling, every night.
Like the rat I am.
Like the rat I am.
Of all the things, things I thought I'd seen.
Sure didn't see that coming.

Slower now.
At your patient's tracking, holes into your skin.
North to South
I came crawling, I came crawling, I came crawling.

Oh gently please,
won't you take your time with me?
Oh gently please,
stop talkin' 'bout dying like we haven't tried it.

All the things, the things I thought I'd seen.
Sure didn't see that coming.
And oh gently please,
won't you take your time with me?
And oh gently please,
stop talkin' 'bout dying like we haven't tried it.
And oh gently please,
stop talkin' 'bout dying like we haven't tried it"

Fool

"I'd be a fool to have asked for more"

Do You Still

"DO YOU STILL FEEL SICK? 

CAUSE I DO."

This One Goes Out

To All Of The Words I Couldn't Find To Tell You
Even If You Ever For Whatever Reason Gave Me The Chance To

She Knows This

"

I’ve been whisked away by fairy wings
And lips that say the very things that lift me from rock bottom 
I’ve got problems that seem to disappear 
When she comes near, my queen sits on air 
In my down time I bought some clouded minds 
Cloud nine polishing unrefined writing 
Sounds to make her crown shine 
Halos covered by plain clothes 
Rainbows, a narrow mind 
Colourful wording still can’t get my restrained flows 
Out of a bind 
How can we find each other if it wasn’t for her love? 
For nothing other than hovering above her on potential, a celestial being 
Swooping down and sitting on my shoulder 
Whispering sweet somethings in my ear 
Her voice is a perfectly constructed wind instrument 
That brings instant incidents of plucked heart strings 
And in sync like it’s instinct 
Her favourite colour isn’t pink 
It’s linked to the things I think are relative to livelihood and growth 
From the land-locked Heaven he rocks to the Ivory Coast 
Her eyes are the most clear substance with 
Substance even if unrinsed and if they opened more 
I know for sure I could see the ocean floor 
I plunge into her head and occupy thoughts 
Until her mind warps but I’m lost 
And she know this, it’s hopeless 
Just fly off 
Why of course 
A shooting star maps herself across space 
Left for me to trace when my mood is dark 
I played connect the darts with you beauty marks 
And I ended up with picture perfect sheet music 
I read your musical notes with a composer’s eyes 
And heard out song for the first time 
My spine is still tingling 
Mental images of your fine tune is what I’ve been nodding my head to lately 
And every now and then you can catch me humming your nudity 
Under my heavy breath 
I heavily suggest you resurrect ancient neglected dust-collectors 
If you distrust the distance and seldom plucked heart strings sit stripped 
Before your full-length perform your affection backwards 
Maybe then you’ll understand the rhythm in my movement 
Listen when the news is sent, it’s then when the rules are bent 
I’ll be waiting to take your lead, make me a victim of your two-step 
Make me an apprentice of your body parts 
Teach me to dance to your beauty marks 
I’m stepping on toes here and I don’t care 
It’s hopeless, it’s hopelessness 
It’s hopelessness holding this openness to blow a kiss 
So close your lips but don’t get pissed and throw a fist 
At this vocalist, I’m not emotionless 
In fact I broke my wrist when I wrote the list 
Of all those I miss, this is my poker face 
Mr. Feel Nothing
"

Again, Again

My tires roll across the concrete and my windows are tinted and rolled up completely. 
Into the crowded air I say, "What are you doing?" alone in my car, and not to myself.

I Was The Only One

""

Not Another

Lament

"He was bored and tired of my laments"

Drain Cleaner

"Please be assured that my remark was intended in jest, 
and not incitement to any type of actual self destructive behavior."

Vacancy

He positioned my lips against his ear, 
............................but heard nothing more than an echo

Your Sickness

"I felt your sickness,


brush against my arm

as I walked by you"

Bah

A class filled to the brim with artistic sheep. Be creative. Be different, unique, and be yourself. Follow my created steps to be exactly as I am doing exactly what I do. But mostly, be you. Let go, but remain following these instructions, rules, regulations and codes. Obey the schedule, the schedule to be an individual. Follow someone's specific details, to be yourself; a goddamn artist.

Your Favorite Things

Oh maybe all those little things your loved ones do, 
they do those things to others besides you.