Pancakes

"ya that's part of why i don't want kid. i have a feeling i'd like totally fuck up the first one and probably the second one. like it might take 3 or 4 for me to get one right.




like with pancakes."

Good Ends

"everything good ends, so just enjoy it while it lasts"


"you're right"

Some Kind Of Proof

"I KNOW YOU'RE LEAVING IN THE MORNING, WHEN YOU WAKE UP,

LEAVE ME WITH SOME KIND OF PROOF IT'S NOT A DREAM"

Connected

"it's everything that is connected and beautiful

and now i know just where i stand

thank god your heart is too close

this can be the bitter end

i know it won't"

Touch Me

"My self esteem didn't help when I felt ugly
and I figured that's the reason why you wouldn't touch me

my ego does bleed"

Drop

"It's not that hard to drop people... I do it all the time"

Unorthodox

Dictionary: un·or·tho·dox   (ŭn-ôr'thə-dŏks')

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

adj.
Breaking with convention or tradition; not orthodox.

unorthodoxly un·or'tho·dox'ly adv.
unorthodoxy un·or'tho·dox'y n

Antonyms: unorthodox

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adjDefinition: abnormal
Antonyms: conventional, normal, orthodox, standard

Esteem

"Self esteem literally has everything to do with everything"

I'm Going To Do It Right

This Time

Jeanette

"I was going to ask you if you were more art-minded, but I see you are" "I noticed that you're left-handed" "you'll be in my prayers" "you'll do well"

Say Things

"THERE WASN'T JUST ONE WAY TO SAY THINGS, BETWEEN THE TWO HOUSEHOLDS I OUTGROWED ALL TYPES OF COMBINATIONS"

Figure

"I'm not into long-distance relationships, but I figure I'm coming back... you get where I'm going with this."

Affection

"One should never direct people towards happiness, because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to."

Romance

"Fucking romantic idealism, it's sick, it's disgusting." "PATHETIC."

Extended

"over-extended family"

Funny How

I think it's funny when people say that other people can say whatever they want to say and that it is actions that are more important, and show people's true thoughts, when I think precisely the opposite.

Good Day

"It's still a good day, whether I am entirely awake or not."

Going To Say

I Am Going To Say That I Remember The Days When People Could Smoke Cigarettes On Campus.

Magnets

"It was as if I had those two stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together, trying to force nature to reverse herself."

Rescued

"Two to none

Roads that lead away from this

I'm following myself just this once

And I got spun

It appears you're spun as well

It happens when you pay attention"

Is Nothing

"TIME IS NOTHING"

Nervous System

My nervous system isn't made for this; it pooped out years ago.

Glad

"Sometimes I am glad when Henry’s gone,

but I’m always glad when he comes back." 

Influences

Don't forget: How you came home for lunch some monday morning, and you wanted was to accomplish as much math homework online as you could, but (of course) you ended up just eating, and wasting the little time you had. You're standing in the cold kitchen getting snacks and your mom is hovering, you say nothing which is completely the usual and she begins in again. "YOUR BROTHER HATES HIGH SCHOOL" you don't want to be having this conversation, not now, not ever. "YOU HATE COLLEGE" you regret mentioning in the past any complaints of my every day schedule "AND I HATE WORKING" you just want to reply that everyone on this earth hates work and school and to get over it and go away "THIS IS OUR LIVES, THIS ISN'T A DRESS REHEARSAL..." The rest became a trailing stream of cliche phrases and statements about how short life is, "YOU ONLY DO THIS ONCE, SHOULDN'T WE BE DOING WHAT WE WANT TO" She refers to herself as a child and it's just about the first thing you honestly agree with at this point. "I'VE BEEN WORKING SINCE I WAS A TEENAGER" That's where you chime in about everyone working their whole lives, and inevitably it gets you absolutely nowhere. As if life is so simple that you can be exactly what you want, later, taxes and money come to mind. She delves in even deeper, and you're blocking it out like a distracting television while you're trying to read. Later, you realize this is why music was playing from the living room when it hasn't in nearly a year. "I'M SICK OF WORKING, I'VE BEEN WORKING MY WHOLE LIFE" in the moment, for more than one reason, escape comes to your mind. your head is in the refrigerator as she plans a vacation she doesn't need "I DON'T MIND GOING ALONE". Your putting a snack into a Zip-lock bag "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE?" it's the rhetorical questions that irk you even more.

Seconds

I get lonely late at night, minutes, maybe seconds before I am about to fall into slumber. Some nights are not as bad, some are subtly unbearable. Some nights I reach for my phone, some nights I reach for a pillow. I don't need a single being all day, and suddenly I'm tired, and so weak from longing that my body cannot move while my mind is running a marathon. My thoughts are organized this late, they become lists and categories instead of a stream, or vaguely connected branches. I have woken up with this feeling, and it deteriorates with time, or I just decide to sleep again. I'm not sure if there is a constant, considering that I can recall times where I wasn't even alone. The source is distant, but fairly determined. Sometimes the strange void is filled, but I know when it is not completely, in the moment. I think I just made this all up.

Nothing Could Ever

"we laugh, and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment. "

9a.m.

It was almost exactly 9a.m. and I was laying in bed sleepy, as well as tired. The light from my window was shining in and filled my room with a bright blue obnoxious tint, and I was almost certain that I was awake for the rest of the day. I glanced at the clock again and little time had passed, I realized not only was he asleep in my living room somewhere, but also that I had only slept a maximum of six hours. My desire to sleep was stronger now and I thought of almost nothing else (rare, in the state I have recently been in). I then hear rustling from outside my cracked door and soon turn over to attempt to peer out to locate the source. Shortly I am half-asleep and sprawled out calmly, facing the wall with my face directly on the bed. I remember watching him saunter in the doorway, but not much else. Then I unexpectedly feel a hand on the side of my back; hoping to wake me up. I recall being curious as to why I should be awoken but when I look for a reply he stood perfectly still. I assumed that could mean nothing else than that I should be scoot over, so I shift closer to the wall and onto my second pillow. He crawls in slowly and we both readjust until we finally both become comfortable. I remember listening to his breath to see if he had fallen back asleep, and wondered if that was his goal at all in the first place. I realize he is sleeping and began to wonder again, but this time if I would be able to fall asleep. I remember worrying that I would lay here awake for hours. For some reason I was extremely appreciative to be sleeping with someone, and though the feeling of complete-ness wasn't shared, it will still fairly abundant as I began to doze (it was nice to know that after all I had recently put him through he would still prefer this cramped twin over my couch).




"and Mama said Dreams are different than real life but important too"

Solitude

Wikipedia: Solitude

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For other uses, see Solitude (disambiguation).

Short-term solitude is often valued as a time when one may work, think or rest without being disturbed. It may be desired for the sake of privacy. Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation; i.e., lack of contact with people. It may stem from bad relationships, deliberate choice, contagious disease, disfiguring features, repulsive personal habits, mental illness, or circumstances of employment or situation (see castaway).

A distinction can be made between physical and mental seclusion. People may seek physical seclusion to remove distractions and make it easier to concentrate, reflect, or meditate. However, this is not necessarily an end in and of itself. Once a certain capacity to resist distractions is achieved, people become less sensitive to distractions and more capable of maintaining mindfulness and staying inwardly absorbed and concentrated. Such people, unless on a mission of helping others, don't seek any interaction with the external physical world. Their mindfulness is their world, at least ostensibly.

Drop Everything

"You WOULD drop everything"

Intensified

"WHY IS LOVE SO INTENSIFIED BY ABSENCE?"

Perceptiveness

Dictionary: per·cep·tive   (pər-sĕp'tĭv)

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

adj.

1. Of or relating to perception: perceptive faculties.
2. 1. Having the ability to perceive; keen in discernment.
   2. Marked by discernment and understanding; sensitive.

Just Like

This is like how
a sandwich always
tastes better
if it's made for you
by someone else.

Will Ever Be The Same

"Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game

All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -

nothing will ever be the same"

Google

"Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. 

But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."

This Song

"This song is called trite, I hope you like it
I could've substituted your name with the title but I decided that I'd keep it private"

Been Better, Been Worse

This is the unfamiliar urge to kick something in,
the stains of coffee on a test never completed,
this is when all music sounds bland and cliche,
when time needs to go faster, or slower,
this is waiting for a reply to a message never sent,
the list in my head of all the things you did not do,
this is doing all the work but not getting an answer,
puzzle pieces not matching,
between asleep and awake,
this is drifting,
a loss of words,
sugar no cream,
not me

Burn

""

Q&A

"You're not very good with that; question and answer"

History

"When in doubt- society turns to history"

Recollecting

"Touching without touching, candles in the dark

casting shadows on our parents battles, this is for the romantics at heart

It wasn't long before I held you more then my pen

when I wasn't writing songs, it was something like

"Forever and always, whenever those songs play..."

I remember empty hallways

or your image that descended from the top floor became an echo

I paid the price for those hard things, and couldn't afford to let go


From a passive debt, I'm past regret


Did you know I dreamt about you before we met?


Remembering our first kiss, and it ain't even happened yet


Recollecting your scent, and I wasn't even given the chance to forget

I guess that's the magic of it

Now every rehashed subject's displaying what I wrote

on cafe napkins to the public"

The One

"Why do I always have to be the one to apologize?"
"No one has to apologize!"











"Ha she ruined your life by doing nothing."

Defending

Fighting endless battles for the forever uninterested.

"Except" Revised

Edward gets a girlfriend...

"This has nothing to do with you."

"THIS HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME."

I Hate You

I hate you.
I hate how you love everything that I am self conscious of. I hate how you do everything on accident, and how it is really on purpose. I hate that smile that I grew to adore more and more. I hate how simple and pleasant you make my whole life when we're together. I hate that I would and do absolutely anything to keep you here, and how I didn't realize you were already gone.

Make Your Day

"Well making your day would make my day, so I want it to be something worthwhile."

"well good, i'd hate to have you be upset by my thinking that you were hot

mainly cuz i'm not gonna knock that off"


"yeah he brought you up quite a bit in our last huge fight, like one of the last things he said to me is that you'd probably have sex with me. he's just possessive is all."
"haha did i miss like the email that went out where i was supposed to be notified that was a bad thing?" 

Superpower

i am seriously debating if i was given the choice of any one superpower ability whether i would side with mind reading or capability to manipulate time. while i would be able to fix nearly anything with the manipulation of time, would i really make mistakes if i could read people's minds? maybe i would abuse my power of knowing everyone's every thought, and it would take the fun and excitement out of every special event. or possibly i would ruin the perfect and determined course of my life by slowing down, rewinding and editing it. would this make me chose neither of the above? never.

Light Switch

I went to turn the kitchen light off as I was exiting. I reached out to swing for the switch, and touched the wall on the opposing side of the it. I automatically recalled doing this often at my mom's house thinking it was my dad's, and vice versa (during the time I had a custody schedule).


It's funny the things you remember, or rather, do not forget.
But I did forget; that my father has since moved, and I am completely unaware to the location of the light switch at his current residence. 

THREE

distracted. honest. understanding.

sensitive. loving. distant.

compulsive. odd. analytical.



mindful. compulsive. analytical.

Sparks

"There was not a single spark
when my lips landed on yours in the dark


but you and I both know that we are a lost cause
and nothing more than specks on this earth"

Sleep

boys like talking about sex--girls like talking about marriage

Oh How

"Yes, it's true


You've brainwashed me and now I'm more confused


I still somehow hope I end up with you


Yes, it's true


I romanticize every single thing I do


especially when it comes to you
 
 
I hope to god I mean a little more than the sounds that escape your tired 4 A.M. lips


Oh-how I wish I meant a little more than a symphony of heavy breathing and the friction of hips"

Be Straight Forward

"I'm bendin' over backwards again"

To Be Alone

"I've been trying to write this letter for a while now, the kind you said you'd never received. The kind I've been working on my whole life. I remember being 13 years old, sitting in my room all night, listening to the same song over and over. I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest, I could make someone love me. I've taken a lot for granted. I've never tried too hard; always avoided responsibility. I came here because I was running away, 'cause I wanted to be alone. Instead I met you, and you weren't taking anything for granted...
I'm sorry if I've made your life complicated. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank you."

Possibly

I might start working on being more definite.

Present

"i'm happy things turned out the way they did"
"me too, even with the terrible pick up line that i used"
"well we can look back and appreciate that in the future"
"yeah, you mean like we are now?"

Dramatics

I found out the news and my body fell apart, 
   but not 
      into corresponding 
pieces
  like before. 
This is the book I will never write, the boy I will see again, 
now and and then. 
This is the almost fight, this is me putting myself back together from last night.

"Once he's over themed birthday parties you can hit that"

Here and There

Dictionary: sen·si·tive   (sĕn'sĭ-tĭv)

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

adj.

1. Capable of perceiving with a sense or senses.
2. Responsive to external conditions or stimulation.
3. Susceptible to the attitudes, feelings, or circumstances of others.
4. Quick to take offense; touchy.
5. Easily irritated: sensitive skin.
6. Readily altered by the action of an agent: film that is sensitive to light.

Disgusted

Sometimes bumper stickers make me sick. 

I like it better when I can pretend people

don't actually have the opinions and beliefs that they do.

Something To Say

It's one of those days where everyone is looking at me like they want to say something, but they aren't sure what quite yet. Well here is what I would say to them: I love my car; we're perfectly dysfunctional together and though all my problems are typical and trite, and all of it's are odd and complicated, it works.

Fickle

"Love is so fickle"

And Magical

""