Soon After

i'm sitting in the car, there is always this time, when i realize the moment i am in is fleeting. whether this is a good or bad thing, it's coming to an end and i begin to grasp that. i reflect briefly upon my past week, falling off the earth, kissing, rubbing, sleeping, not. the next day will be void of all these things, it will be empty like before, like it never existed in the first place. i will be alone. every social interaction will be responded to, and how much effort i will make, towards anything, will be determined. in this moment i had everything, my distraction. something i could put all my energy and thoughts and time into until it goes away again, willing or not. i try to focus on the points i'd like to remember, the rusty smell, teeth, a beating chest, the little things i couldn't find the right words to thank you for. being in the moment, but clearly, not always.