I Got A Letter

"And then one day I got a letter, saying, finally, "we shouldn't consider ourselves lovers, I'm distracted with the wife, as much as I love you. So my heart was broken. "Dear Allen, what you say is honestly what I've been doing or striving for all my life. Therein lies our, or my confused sense of closeness. Also I fear therein lies our strength of tie to each other. I say "I fear" for I really don't know how much I can be satisfied to love you. I mean 'bodily.' You know, I sometimes dislike pricks and men and before you had consciously forced myself to be homosexual. You meant so much to me. I now feel I was forcing a desire for you bodily for everything you were giving me.............I want a girl, go to college, see all and do all and become truly straight, so please Allen give this a good deal of thought."