Monday, December 21, 2015

straight-cowardly

do you ever pull up your sweatpants from the elastic waist in the rain and the cold wet hems at the bottom reach up and touch your exposed ankles and it makes you want to kill yourself
sometimes i type in my phone a new number from a guy on okcupid to text him, and the green color never changes to blue and it makes me wonder is it even worth it
most mornings i wake up and my eyes hurt so bad that i decide today is the day i am going to call into work with hurt eyes 
i feel closest to the two stray cats on my street, more than anyone else, i am appreciative of our love, for mine can be conditional, and optional
someone asked me yesterday if my mood-changing nail polish indicated that i was happy, or sad, i responded that i am always cold, then stopped, having adequately answered the question
my boss called me today at work and told me he felt that there was something i was wanted to say, but couldn't, but was making it obvious, but still would not say it, even after he said this. i laughed for a while, and then said yeah
most times i scroll back to instagrams my friends posted earlier, to make sure that they got the amount of likes they wanted, and deserved, more often than not they haven't
the worst feeling in the world is backing off of someone to make them want you more, only to find them relieved by the much needed space
late at night i sent you the celebration bamboo emoji, 
so that you would know i am still in love with you

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