I apologize for the things that said when my self loathing was so deep-seated I could not find a way to allow you to love me.
I made my own heart sore,
she could never do that.
"How could you ever think? With all that is between us, how could you ever rationalize things that way?" She speaks this in a voice very seldom heard, not a hint of playing a game, not a glimpse of her own emotion.
I knew what she was speaking of,
I could feel, nearly see the beating life between us that we had build, the hard way, some days nothing is more real than that. I felt like less than nothing, but inspired to rid myself of these notions, this sickness, be better for her.
We sat together, I only really went out to see her, but would never tell her that. Every once in a while a thought comes into my head, I do not act upon, but I thought that I really felt like holding her hand
right then.
The second the idea concluded she had already reached down. I repeated in my head it was a mere coincidence, but let myself be happy anyway.
Lizz has given me the gift of comfortability, to be fearless in being myself.. there are abosutely no words of justice for that.
I know it's 3:30am and I haven't slept much of any, but I wanted to say that
Lizz's skin feels like a kitten's paw that you're sure should be hardened and worn from the outside world, but just isn't (she isn't).
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