What You Want And How You Want It

1. I text her and tell her that when we are not talking I am sleeping. I am being annoying again. I email her one of my dreams to interpret after she tells me that she cannot and does not interpret dreams. I feel as though I'm losing her every second, and it makes no sense, and it isn't true. I can't tell her how I feel about me or her or us anymore, I cannot tread on sad territory. I form every word not to be too dramatic, too emotional, too surface, superficial, insincere, token. I text her in the morning to say that I hope she somewhat likes in someway when I send her way too many messages, she responds by saying possibly some part of her does enjoy it, and I don't know that she is joking. I'm so embarrassed all the time, but it doesn't matter so much with anyone else, because I don't like them all that much, I don't care about them all that much, but she's different. I say to her that I don't want her not to know any part of my day, all shy and scared and embarrassed and honest. She tells me that she likes to know.