Nothing is Off Limits

I just wanted to grab everything really frantically with my arms and hold it together. Equal parts controlling and loving, but my intentions are pure. I thought I could just scoop up in my hands what was important, and if I clutched so tightly time would stop inside of my grip. These people deserve the very best, and we all know what my worst behavior looks like, feels like. Everything is moving, crumbling, dying, shaking, changing, stirring, growing. I am small and quiet and intricate and sensitive, I cannot keep up with the world let alone handle it. I lie in bed waiting for it to take me.