Brilliance

"Self-improvement is masturbation,

now self-destruction..."

"'Just laying in bed day after day,' Mrs. Clark says, 'you realize it's not wooden stakes that kill vampires.' It's all the emotional baggage and letdowns they have to carry around for century after century.

You want to think you're getting funnier and smarter all the time. As long as you're making an effort, you're headed for that Big Win. That's how you'd feel as a vampire for maybe the first couple hundred years. After that, all you have is the same failed relationship multiplied by two hundred".