Trying To Say

"K... I just wish you understood I'm not proud of it or myself. Why do you think i didn't tell YOU, because it's a fucking let down. I'm not trying to justify it, I'm trying to move on from it. You are honestly one of my closest friends. Like I feel more comfortable with you then most anyone else, and i have never told anyone about this, and I don't know why I would, especially YOU. It clearly upsets you or something, and I'm sure you are disappointed in me. I don't know. Whether you believe it or not when you are upset with me, or I let you down I hate it. Like more than anything. For some reason you really get to me. Like honestly I care about what you think about me, and how you think about me. I talk too much without ever saying what I am really trying to say."