Cut

Short

Christmas List

mostly for myself

1. Garden State movie

2. Book light for my bed

3. New bed (mattress or frame)

4. Subway gift card

5. 500 Days of Summer ( Amazon pre-order)
   
6. Coffee maker of some sort

       7. Suede Navy Puma Speed Cats (size W9)

Mourn

"When young, we mourn for one woman... as we grow old, for women in general. The tragedy of life is that man is never free yet strives for what he can never be. The thing most feared in secret always happens. My life, my loves, where are they now? But the more the pain grows, the more this instinct for life somehow asserts itself. The necessary beauty in life is in giving yourself to it completely. Only later will it clarify itself and become coherent."

Finally Home

"I feel like I'm finally home now that I'm with you."

Biblical

"It's biblical how fucked my sleep can be"

I'm Sorry

I'm Self Absorbed


Not Selfish

The World

"TO THE WORLD YOU MAY BE ONE PERSON
BUT TO ONE PERSON YOU MAY BE THE WORLD"

Cut Open

  “The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”

Lights

I hate school, 
from the bright white florescent lights to the 1-ply toilet paper, 
from the faded dry erase markers to 
the swivel computer monitor stands.

Less

"Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right.

But power isn't happiness."

Blind

In an immature and expected fit of blind fury she threw away my fuckin' toothpaste.
But if I am supposed to get out of here, I will.

Roller Coaster

Let it be known: this isn't 

a roller coaster; it's a yo-yo.

Dilute

fear of dilution

Just

Just pretend that you're safe in this car, 
so you can you watch the scenery and feel the air.

As You Age

You realize that people and places become the same thing.

If Nothing Else

I hope my stability is comforting.

So Be It

"so what you cant stand me cause i have a girlfriend?? but at the same time you enjoy me just begging for your attention and love like what?? am i supposed to pick 1 or the other?? it's not obvious i like you too and i wish i didn't? i try so hard not to care but i do i cant stand when you are upset with me... even though its over something i dont even understand.. like what is the right move for me? there is no right answer no matter what i do i'm always hurting someone"

"if what is the reason that i'm dating rachel?? then there is no right answer... and i cant both in anyway i guess you are both so different and amazing in your own ways and you both have flaws i love you both of you and dislike both of you all at once idk like what do i do??"

"no i'm not calling you a slut i'm making an observation you sleep with dudes and then don't talk to them or me. and i thought you liked nick thats why i said that. this is so retarded i'm not trying to hurt you i'm trying to make you happy"


"thanks... what can i do that makes you happy mollie like you are happy for a while and then this happens and you should know rachel is the first girl i've treated right. i'm so sick of this mollie i dont have the energy any more. i cant keep wasting away every step of progress i make with you. you like me one day you hate me the next you care after that. i'm not single i love my girlfriend if that's your reason for not being my friend then so be it"

so

(deflated.)
I know when to hold on as much as I don't know when to let go.

That Didn't Just Happen

"[Aquarians] do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive."

Advantage

"I'm going to take advantage of this; you can't be mean to me in person"






"I'm going to make this easy for you"
"don't"

Interpreting

By understanding myself I can understand others better. 
The more I learn and the more I teach myself, 
the more I see, notice and feel. This is that.

Teacher

I wanted to tell my math teacher that I tried to sleep, I laid there in the dark, I finally put on a movie. I started to doze off around 1a.m. and by 2:45a.m. my phone was buzzing me awake. I couldn't have my phone on 'alarm' because it's too loud to wake up to in the morning, so I picked up in my sleep, and it was my friend who wanted to tell me about her horoscope, and so we talked for a while and then decided to try to sleep. Soon after, my home phone begins to ring loudly throughout the house around 3a.m., it was the police and my little brother was "busted"; the word my mom used when she came into my room to tell me once she had gotten off of the phone. I texted messaged for a while and no matter what could not fall back sleep. Once I'm woken up, I'm woken up. I tossed and turned and tried to sleep every way, but it was cold and as I began to get tired again, I heard the sound of the phone, and so I turned on the movie again but couldn't sleep. Over an hour of this goes on, and I never really fall completely asleep I realized once I 'woke up' in the morning for school. I didn't go to get coffee and I've been drinking a lot of it lately. These word problems make no sense I wanted to tell her. I close my eyes for a minute while she writes on the board and it's a great feeling. I planned the whole class to leave early, and never did.

No Means No

"No means no with Mollie, 


and yes means maybe"

That Thing

“I’m not frightened. I’m not frightened of anything. The more I suffer, the more I’ll love. 
Danger will only increase my love, it will sharpen it, it will give it spice. 
I’ll be the only angel you need. You will leave life even more beautiful than you entered it. 
Heaven will take you back and look at you and say

‘Only one thing can make a soul complete, and that thing is love.’"

Silent

you- "I just figure I can't make everyone happy" 
me- "Well I wish I was still one of those people who you wanted to make happy" 
you- "..."

Without

"Without you I don't sleep

Just dream"

Letter

you told me you wrote me a letter and i definitely wish you hadn't. it was easier thinking that you didn't care and that my feeling were hurt because of that, and that i would eventually give up myself, and inevitably recover; as much as i could. i said a thousand times how i just wanted to ruin your night, i wanted to say something to bother you and maybe even piss you off. that's what you deserved. don't ignore me, then say you wrote me a letter. would you have even told me if i had never said something? or were you just waiting so you could tell me about it? 
This is stupid.




When all my friends were gone, when school was hard and my family was distracted, you were there. I could drive to your house, run up your three steps and walk in without even knocking. I loved flopping on your bed and I loved your affection because I felt like it was what I needed. You were the only one available, and I was slightly broken.

Perfect Ending

"The perfect ending to this piece of shit story!"

This Tiny Life

"The work-a-days were propping the bar quietly erasing the week 

and I was in a corner booth thinking (pretending to read)

about the impossibility of one to love unconditionally 

and the words that we drive into the ground:

their repetition starts to thin their meaning. 

Then everything got frighteningly still as they entered and intersected the floor 

and I tried to choke my stare at perfection that others would kill for. 

But all of the parts are the same on every face -- few variables change. 

The differences pale when compared to the similarities they share. 

Finally there is clarity and there is purpose after all. 

But every night ends the same as I'm collapsing once more by your side. 

Finally there is clarity: this tiny life is making sense 

and every drop numbs the both of us, but I alone am staggering"

When You Grow Up

I Will Be Here.

Truth Be Told

"I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told."

Fleeting

Dictionary: fleet·ing   (flē'tĭng)

 

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

adj.Passing quickly; ephemeral: a fleeting glimpse; a fleeting interest in the campaign.
fleetingly fleet'ing·ly adv.

Back of Your Hand

"And mystery's always good, but so is knowing someone like the back of your hand. I mean literally."

Listening

Friendship is enjoying listening equal to or more than talking to.

Grow Up

I was in burger king and I was just a kid; too old to ask for a crown but not old enough to be able to easily decide between a cherry or blue raspberry flavored Icee. I remember just looking around at all the pictures and banners on the walls and on the menu. Everything I saw was well made, and so well edited, I thought to myself. The sesame seeds on the buns stood out the most, as odd as it sounds; I stared at them just wondering how they were so perfectly arranged. I felt a small excitement growing as I thought about someone making what I saw into what i saw, and how I could be that person. I pictured someone in a cubicle somewhere in front of a computer, and how they had the ability to make the sesame seeds the same distant apart. I thought about someone having a picture of a burger, and making it perfect. That person made that burger unrealistically appetizing and appealing, and I wanted to do that. I remember thinking about the feeling that accomplishment would give me, after making that glowing burger picture myself.

Too Little Too Late

"You sound like it's a break up"

"You know me, I always do"

Make It Easy

FWD: iagreetotheseterms@hotmail.com
do you usually just talk to people that don't take your feelings into account?

FWD: iagreetotheseterms@hotmail.com

well you make it easy to be nice

You Think

"I love you more than what you think you love me."

Fix It

I want someone to be like:


This isn't how I want you and I to be. 


And I want them to try to fix it.

Feeling Sorry

"You can't tell me to heal
And, it hurts remembering
How it felt to shut down

You can't be too careful anymore"






"I could follow you to the beginning
And just relive the start
And maybe then we'll remember to slow down
To all of our favorite parts

All I wanted was you"

What If

What if everything you took for granite went away? 

What if everything you didn't take for granite did?

Dream Home

"Every Dream Home Has A Headache"

I don't know

See You Again

"I often wished"
"Wished what?"
"That I would see you again"
"And now you have"
"Yes. Now I have"

Content

Good food, clean car, folded laundry, painted nails, friendships all at ease.

Lyrics to songs, subtitles on movies, big blankets, quiet.

Nowhere Near

"I'm not as strong as you give me credit for, right and wrong have ceased to mean
much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past
trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through
a single hour. It was only a matter of time–and not much of it–before I showed up at your
window and begged you to take me back."

Hours

Need more hours in the day? Then make more.

Halfway

"AND LET OUR BODIES INTERTWINE 

BUT ALWAYS UNDERSTAND 

THAT EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING ENDS"

i wish i could tell you how much i hate you

but you stopped listening months ago

"Because none of it was ever worth the risk"

Time Bomb

"I Held You Like A Time Bomb"

Human Nature

"Human Nature

• finding the easy way out
• being affected by peer pressure"

Oh You

"well not that i don't enjoy talking to you about what you see as inadequacies and i think are just fun facts, but i do need to go to bed" you

"thanks for not hating me" me


"thanks for making it hard to do" you




"night" me


"ha, the odds are in your favor. good night." you

What?

"Two adults who have chosen to share one another's lives in an intimate and committed relationship of mutual caring."

About You

"I was thinking about your life.."

"And about how life is about people leaving"

Was It?

"This isn't what you wanted.


Was it?"

You or Me?

Dictionary: pa·thet·ic   (pə-thĕt'ĭk)  also pa·thet·i·cal

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

(-ĭ-kəl)
adj.

1. Arousing or capable of arousing sympathetic sadness and compassion: "The old, rather shabby room struck her as extraordinarily pathetic" (John Galsworthy).
2. Arousing or capable of arousing scornful pity.

SUBTLE

Subtle revenge and math tests that make you sniffle

Little

"My life may be little and boring, but at least it's mine, not some assembly line, secondhand, hand-me-down life."

Inevitability

Dictionary: in·ev·i·ta·ble   (ĭn-ĕv'ĭ-tə-bəl)

 

Home > Library > Literature & Language > Dictionary

adj.

1. Impossible to avoid or prevent. See synonims at certain.
2. Invariably occurring or appearing; predictable: the inevitable changes of the seasons

Mystified

"This STUPID message makes you go back?"

"I'm CONFUSED, and I have to go back"

"This is what she does; she MYSTIFIES you"

Fingertips

"I GOT THE WORLD AT MY 
FINGERTIPS


BUT ME AND MY GIRL 
GOT SOME SHIT TO FIX"

What Makes Us

"Don't all of us have 

scattered 

images?"

Spilled

SOMETIMES RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE SPILLED SALT ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

At first, you're trying to scoop up and save whatever you can; as much as you can.

Soon after you're trying to just brush up the remanence of what is left; throw it all away.

Grains remain always, even if it's just one or two.