Seal The Spiel

I have realized something somewhat profound. Maybe it isn't profound, really, but it is relative and also at very least, useful. I watch the people in my life, I mostly listen, I talk a lot, but wait a good amount too. What I was thinking is that I have some bad friends, some friends whom are not correct in anyway as a friend to me. I was realizing that I have some spectacular and fantastic friends, who are patient and forgiving, whether only I see it as that or not. But what I see today is that the tiny gestures, when stable, and in the scheme of the big picture, or more substantial and kind than any action or even words that are all I could ever ask for. Because who they are coming from is a person who is not soon to be hurtful or flighty, but steady and understanding. You cannot each time go for the fantastic and impractical, I believe that someone apologizing honestly for maybe something as trivial and mundane as a food allergy, sorry that we had to get cashews on the side and no soy sauce, is far more impacting and important, meaningful and lasting, than say such a personal and intimate bonding conversation or epic fleeting moment. It's good to know what you want from someone or something, because mistakingly you could go for what you desire and crave, which is dangerous and terrible, really. I don't want a sad remoresful, regret-ridden love, maybe someone better would. be practical and true. Don't go for beautifully brass, and deeply and brutally specific. Don't dub this real or true when it's inconsistent and it's everyone, blind selfishness, and countless humans just putting this all a notch below inebriation. Exhilarating is not worth it, and not everything should be chalked up to learning, or forgiving. Cut ties with all which makes you feel worthless, and full of notions so deep seeded perhaps they are better off never again in the light of day. I did learn that people will not apologize for the things they do not feel sorry for. I don't necessarily have to feel sorry for everything I have ever felt or done.
 These are fruitless and wasteful company for me, not worthy of my empathy and worship, my sorrow.

"She never inquired, but she never recoiled, either. That's a quality I look for in a person, not recoiling."