Always Be

Maybe I'll always be a kid from divorced parents, and maybe it gave me such lunatic thoughts such as this, but I guess I'll never know. The way I've thought about it, for a long while now, is that you are made up of 50 percent your mother and 50 percent your father, and in an average case such as mine the parents are married for some years to raise their child/children. Now once shit hits the fan and the parents become completely intolerant of each other, once these said parents decide that they hate each other too much to try to work things out (again, not every situation, but some situations such as my own) they file for divorce. So skipping a good portion of what goes on after that occurs, the parents create separate lives from each other entirely, and some are too wounded from the experience to even civilly interact with each other. The children in most circumstances (unlike my own) will be subjected to a life-schedule of 50 percent custody with each parent. Some parents get new girlfriends, some get new spouses, while some stay completely romantically alone. Either way for the sake of the point I am trying to make here, let's say the parents (which is likely) despise just about everything about the other parent. And if both parents don't have strong negative feels for each other, maybe odds are that one parent still does. SO with one (at least) parent feeling such anguish and anger towards the other I believe it takes a toll on the child(s), but not in the way that some people think. Going back to the offspring of a couple being made up of half father, half mother, I believe (whether it to actually be TRUE or not) that a child can easily think as well as see that the parent hates that other half of the child itself. If you have such hostility towards the personality that essentially makes up half of a being, I believe it can become visible, whether it is to be intentional or not. That bitterness is not only taken out on the child, but is seemingly BECAUSE of (fifty percent of) who that child is. This is more than a kid sensing a little resentment when one parent talks about the other after a divorce, this is complete animosity that is due to something that the kid can't do anything at all to change within themselves.