"There was no way I could have disguised the abyss I was plunging into now. How could I have explained the way I was fracturing into pieces, the way I had to curl into a ball to keep the empty hole from tearing me apart? It was so much better that I didn't have an audience."
"So maybe her plan was flawed--apparently it wouldn't be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected."
"That was a bit much for me. I'd cried myself to sleep over this boy. His harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was left of my chest. He'd left a new nightmare behind him, like an infection in a sore--the insult after the injury. And now he was here in my room, smirking at me as if none of that had passed."
"I protected the secret out of love; unrequited, but true."
"Love didn't work that way, I decided. Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore. "
"I had a million questions for him. One of them bubbled to my lips now, but I held my tongue. I didn't want to ruin the moment, as imperfect as in was, here in the room that made me sick, under the eyes of the would-be monster."
"Here in his arms, it was so easy to fantasize that he wanted me. I didn't want to think of his motivations now... Maybe the time apart had been enough that I didn't bore him for the moment. But it didn't matter. I was so much happier pretending. I lay quiet in his arms, re-memorizing his face, pretending..."
Ooh.
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