Thinkin'

Because I just got home from work, and was going to passive aggressively take the hair buzzer from my mom's cabinet and leave it on his porch. I am organizing the accessories in the box, and my mom mentions a name I was fairly familiar with. She asks if I know the kid, and tells me who his brother is. I tell her yes, and that I just saw/talked to his brother minutes ago in the parking lot outside of my work. She then begins to tell an also familiar story, so familiar i am literally filling in the words before she speaks them. Ian Murray is drunk and goes out some road in Nevada City in his jeep to 4-wheel, he is driving and his buddy is shot-gun, and there's a girl in the back. he hits something, and she isn't wearing a seatbelt because there are only belts in the front, and she's injured, badly. the boys are drunk and don't even immediately take her to the hospital she says. I'm pretending nothing about this story could ever possibly involve my little life but mean while flashing back to holding on to whatever i could as young blonde Ian drives fast and careless, friend in passenger, through trees and trees. I remember all the beer, the mud, on everything. I remember wishing there were seats in the back, so my friend and I were more secure on the more than rough ride. My mom said that there was no seat in a tone that made me feel guilty at best. I remembered being so isolated out some strange series of roads and feeling stranded. I picture the girl, young and with long straight blonde hair, but half her face completely mauled. "It ripped her ear off", "she almost died", "the doctors had to sew it back on." My mom said he is in a lot of trouble. "Is he a nice kid?" she asks. I remember liking him the most at the bonfire, and talking to him at his house after it all. My mom said her whole face is scars, and shows me on her own with her hand. It made me feel like there is a reward for all that I do, and don't. I thought about my life in an odd way, with a ruined face from a familiar yet exciting drive for a blonde brother. So much is forgotten.