My Loss His Gain

I no longer wish to live with Sam.
I sometimes like him as a person, but I never, ever like him as a roommate.
The way in which I like him as a person is not how I even would like to like someone.
It must be nice to never buy, or think about buying trash bags, dish soap, sponges, hand soap, toilet paper, tissues, or anything you are accustomed to your mom supplying for you, it must be nice to never break your patterns. I buy everything, I clean everything.
I will remember how he acted when someone came into our house will ill-intent, I will remember how he acted when things broke.
So many small things that I will not forget that you have said to me.
"Hey, your peaches are moldy and there are a lot of flies."
"I know. 
I want to feed the insects."

"I want to figure out how we are going to do rent this month."
"Yeah, I've been thinking. 
I pay the other two bills... so...."

My food had been in the freezer for a while so you said you figured it was up for grabs, I brought home a new flower and you said that there is no room for it, Scott and I make a chore list, you make fun of me to Scott, you tell Scott and Austin that the dying cilantro must be taking on after my mood swings. I never even really wanted you around, ever. He scrapes by doing the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM, acting like a 15 year old, and endlessly defending sex with anyone over 18. He is just about 26 years old, and pays 250 dollars a month for rent. Today I was driving, and felt his long creepy fingers suffocating me, I hate that I feel as though I cannot shake him. He is manipulative, conniving, out for himself, and perpetually tricking and using people just like me, but mostly me. He and Austin get along so well because Sam cannot uphold a relationship with anyone anywhere near his age, he loves exaggerated comradery. Sam forms alliances. He is the type of person who is talking bad about whomever he thinks you would want him to in front of you so that you can relate to him. He is the type of person who does not even so much as attempt to not be the miserable, negative, pessimist he doesn't even care that he is. Every time that I do something I am somewhat proud of, or glad I did, or maybe even secretly wanting a tiny bit of appreciation, he finds the flaw and points it out to me. "I looked at your blog, you put pictures from August in July." He noticed I cleaned out and cleaned the fridge and said it looked weird. He said the fly swatter I bought for the house was a stupid color, then hit one of my plants over with it, and laughed. I cleaned up the dirt afterwards. He is either in the mood to say precisely what you wish to hear, or precisely what you do not want to, nowhere in between. He puts down everyone, constantly, even the people he loves. Today he made an appointment to look at a house, I was happy, he then says he did it at a time that he cannot go. Today he saw my rent check and went to get his own, I was happy, then saw he wrote only the quantity that he has to pay, forcing someone else to do all the work, as always, for always. He will never change, he will likely never even want to. He will ride coattails into exactly all of the situations he would like to be in, only putting in effort to drain those around him of all that he possibly can, as they genuinely work for it and at it. And I cannot wait to no longer be one of those people.


I told him that I would take him to the airport, and I told him also that I would do so knowing that he would not for me.

Notice how whenever he wants or needs you on his good side he will ask about that person's brother, not that he cares to know in the slightest, notice when he asks.

It's truly astounding how someone so sincerely self-seeking as never found themselves, or worse, perhaps he has.