Thoughts That I Couldn't Stop From Repeating

my stomach butterflies didn't know where to go

and I stopped doing all that stupid stuff
like blaming my ailments, and strengths on you

though in your absence, my body doesn't know what to do
it's a good thing my head doesn't follow suit

and on that anxious loop, I wait for you to come make me still
it is not your job
but I know that you will

I loved you so desperately, and I can see that now
like forever wasn't long enough
and you did go, but you did return, and I do not know how

I thought that we were two destined parts to make complete
like you remember the very first words said between you and me
and I, I saw how it would end
I told you
years before
what I remember? crying outside of your door
not for what side I was on, but for the coming back in
not for what sides we were on, but for the letting you win

I still love you, and everything remains the same
though what if you do not like the ways that I have changed