Mauve

I painted my nails the color that they were the last time that I saw you and thought it'd make me feel better but it didn't.

I made some soup and sat on the floor.

I tied my stomach into knots, I can only remember the times with you in them.

I didn't know I could feel like this here, I never thought of myself as being capable of being the type of person who shouldn't be left alone.

Well are you alone?

All my friends and family we must all be so isolated because nothing else could ever make sense.

And I can't reach out, and I can't fall asleep, and my nerves keep me still.

Today at work I pretended I was an actor in a movie who would get fired if they so much as flinched.

No one noticed.

My boss still forgets my name, and my coworker told me he doesn't care about anyone but himself because he has no heart, I never needed him to remember like he did today.

And I hope he goes out after work, so I can wallow and mourn, I hope he comes home soon because I want him in bed, and to keep me warm.

Not physically warm.