Maybe I Should

(It's my ocd, I tend to get stuck on things maybe I shouldn't, for months on end, even years. Spinning my wheels.)

And just like that, I realized something, you've asked too much of me. I cannot deliver, I can no longer even make attempts to. You want the truth undiluted, yet unemotional, you want it when you want it, you want secrets, but no apologies. I meant it when I said that I cannot be the person you want me to be, not even the person you need. I also promised that I would do the utmost I could possibly do, to make decisions not on behalf of your feelings, but based off of my own, entirely. This is me keeping that promise. I don't want you around when I'm like this, as much as I love it, it's not fair, it's not helping (you). You're good, you're too good for me, and I was too once, just the same, but not anymore.