duylam texts me, says hi randomly, then explains he's leaving for a long time, soon, and wants to see me before he goes. (i thought about how he'd been MIA, due to possible romance i created in my head, putting together us not talking, with snaps of other females. then, realized i actually did not care at all, thought it would be funny to see him, and told him i'd like to,)
i say whenever, he asks if i'm free this week, and we plan for thursday (yesterday). he texts me to say there's a thing going on in the city called micro-hoods, and we decide it sounds fun and chill, and that we'd rather do that than hang in oak this time
he texts me "mollzzzzzzz" then asks when i get off work
i tell this all to lizz, saying "i think that we're soulmates, but i like thinking about him leaving" to which she responsed that it means we are not soulmates
before i plan to leave for the city, he texts me again saying that he cannot get out of a 'thing' he has at 8pm. i said that micro-hoods (food, street festival thing with art, and music, and pop-ups and drink deals etc) is 6-8 so that's fine
i knew it was work related (although he never said that) and he said not to hate him, and he felt badly
i get stuck in traffic, and picking him up at 530 turns into 6pm. micro-hoods was on divis, very near his apartment, so i call him, see him on the sidewalk talking to me on the phone, pick him up, and we find me a spot to park. he applauded my parallel parking (on v steep hill), & it was all i ev needed. i did not hit the car below me, which was an added bonus
he's wearing a dark dark blue button down shirt with small white polka dots, pretty much the same one that i have from h&m, and his same gray and plaid hoodie over it, dark blue jeans the exact shade as mine, and the ripped up white vans that i also own. i'm wearing a white target workout v-neck, gap jeans, black boots, to be casual, but mostly non-caring.
we walk down the hill to his apartment, and he tells me how he redecorated since last i'd been there, and he had. he hung a yellow tapestry, and a lot had changed, but it remained equal parts masculine and feminine. he says he and his roommates repurposed the pallet, i did not ask its purpose, though could not determine it on my own.
we sit together on his couch, and look on his laptop at all the deals and activities. he has very slow, soft female vocal-ed music already coming from his laptop. he gets excited about tattoos, tells me about restaurants and bars in his area, and we walk down together to check it all out. after seeing 3-4 empty kombucha bottles around his bedroom, i start to tell him all about my scoby, he's super into it, we look at pictures of mine on my phone, then google for more pictures, and answers to all our questions. the first place we go is the tattoo parlor. they have discount tattoos, and daddy phresh does not seem like the type to be into that sort of thing, but i was wrong
after spending about thirty minutes looking at really shitty & predictable potential tattoos (i told him they would have a heart with mom written over it & they did..) he thought about getting the arrowhead on his wrist/underarm or maybe the fish
there was: a cat with the number 13, a mom and a heart tattoo, an indian tattoo, a sea horse, a fish, a woman indian, an arrowhead, a snake, and anything else you would see on a sheet of temporary tattoos
he was adamant about a joint tattoo, joking it only made sense since we did already have matching ikea bowls, after he told the guys working he would go get drunk and come back, i made him leave. he told me that he wanted a dead poets society quote on his side, i told him to go with that instead.
we go into a cool art store with letterpress notebooks, and hand drawn coffee mugs. he asks about irrel, says he really wants to contribute, and he takes pictures of the tiny portraits of women on the wall. leaving the gallery he said his hands were too plain looking, and asked what i thought about guys wearing nail polish. we both felt good about it, and he said he looks forward to me painting his nails. we walk to and into most of the restaurants, both fairly starving, we wait in line at a mexican place we had no chance of getting a table at, then leave. we finally end up at mojo, which had a vietnamese pop-up, with strange hip food like mushroom spring rolls, and vegan smoked duck. we agree to eat there, and i wait in line while he makes friends with some young business-looking guy named jeremy, in attempts to secure us a table. somehow we get a table on the front patio, he saves the seats and i go in to order & pay (i'm glad that i get to pay for dinner, since he just bought us beers, and that it was that easy). i'm 10+ dollars short since they are apparently cash only, so i run out and have to ask for cash and it was funny and insane. we don't have enough, so he goes to a nearby atm, i grab a 20 of the 40 in his hands. it must be something that happens a lot because the guy was really cool about it, already put in our order, and gave me the ginger snap cookie i impulsively got for our dessert. we eat our broccolini, tomato rice, scrambled eggs tofu and beef, respectively, and i am acutely aware of how well we get along, not in a flirty way, really, just in a whatever way. when he gets a phone call from his friend, who was part of the meeting, he answers, and repeats several times that he is "with mollie", in a serious tone, i thought at the time he should have been more embarrassed about me hearing. he talks to me about things we should own together, like an air plant, a scoby, and how we can't because he's leaving, on monday.
the trip is vague, and secretive, but i know he has it all planned out. i don't want to ask too many questions, so i don't really. i thought he'd be gone a week, from what i gathered, turned out it's 3 months. which i still don't think is long.
i make him try and like the cookie, which he said again and again that he totally did, i didn't believe him, then said i did. we walked around a bunch, went to bars to look at art and not drink. about to cross the street, a car u-turns in front of us, swinging pretty closely and in our path, the man waves sincerely and apologetically, to which i nod back, and hold up a hand (in forgiveness), and duylam waves a little wave. he laughs then, and says he thought my nod was funny, he said he liked the gender role reversal there. when we get to a bar with only a women's bathroom, he gets really strange and awkward and will not use it. i told him i'd cover him, it was fine, and it was the only bathroom, he still would not, and said that there was nothing i could do. we went towards bean bag in search of beer, he asked if i wanted to go play trivia with his friends, we let the idea fade, it's nearly eight, he cancels his un-cancellable meeting, stating that we had a good thing going. we go to bi-rite & get ice cream instead, daddy phresh wanted a sundae, which was absurd to me, because 1. i am the dessert guy 2. we ate the same amount and same thing, which was a lot 3. we already had dessert and i thought he wanted to be drunk, but was realizing he didn't care. we order a honey lavender sundae that had chocolate and blood orange syrup, and we added graham cracker. we eat at bean bag after taking a lot of pictures, then he helps me instragram a pic of my brother, then he asks if we should go back to his house, and we do. i remind him he promised to play me a song, so we go there, he asks if i want water or anything, i say no. he comes back with a big mason jar of water. we listen to a lot of songs on spotify, watch a lot of music videos, he plays me a stephanie neher cover, and i tell him i'm friends with her. i had read his journal which he had warned me "had a lot of stuff about everything" in it, and realized he was very into this girl lauren, who he told every reason they could not be together to, and she gradually lost interest, listening to the reasons, soon believing them more than he. looking around at his belongings, he tells me weirdly that he has to pack his room, i don't ask where he's moving, but what month, he says half way through next month. none of it made sense, but that was fine. he tells me to take off my shoes, then gets embarrassed, then i do anyways. i wonder if i should stay, then he asks me to. i told him that i have work at 8am and it's midnight, then stay for another hour. he plays me ukulele, while i take pictures on my fuji, his hand is on my back sometimes but he never makes a move. i conclude that i like him, when he takes a drink from the jar, and hands it to me wordlessly, after i had said that i was fine without water. i am going to stay. i think about using his toothbrush, sweatpants, and leaving at the crack of dawn. i think about sleeping on his top-bunk bed, and how it would be nice, but sort of awful. i put on my shoes, i tell him i have to leave because it's thursday, he says to stay. he listen to golden shoulders, and he makes another golden showers joke. after we watch keaton henson videos, and the soko's "keaton henson" (and two shia ones) he invites me to a soko show on sunday, asking if i would be interested in going. "it's only fifteen bucks". and he is playing ukulele to the video of moon song, and says he wants to teach me, and i stop him, because i'm left-handed, and he said it was going to be cute, and i said it wasn't meant to be. he attempts to play backwards/upside down, but says it feels too strange.
i didn't want to leave, but felt this urgency not to stay. like it was what i planned for, and wanted, and he had called off his meeting, and i had stayed up too late, and i got this weird worry. i stand up, he says he's going to walk to my car, i told him i couldn't detest because i didn't know where my car was. on the top of his dresser with a wad of ones was a condom, which made he think how cliche it is to have sex w ppl off of the internet. we find my car, i drive him home, he says he will text me about this weekend (he leaves monday), shutting the car door says "bye dude" to which i cringe heavily, and drive away.
get stuck in 45 min of construction traffic on the bridge. get in bed around 130. set alarm for 645 instead of 620. and am awoken to the typical domestic violence at 230am. shay screaming wakes me, but i've never heard rodney so angry, a third voice chimes in calmly, and i've never been happier, knowing i would get to sleep with someone sane there with them.
daddy phresh tells me to text him when i get home. i do not.
he asks what i think about the haircut with shaved hair on the side.
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