Teacher Notes

"The paper is a bit too short with such large margins between paragraphs etc. The event sounds as if it was a powerful one that had a huge impact on you even after all the time that has passed since that day. I understand the main point, but the details of the event were hard to follow. Your writing creates a powerful image, but needs to be written more clearly with transition from one main point to the other. For example, I do not understand the last sentence. It needs more precision and detail to be easy to follow. Overall, it is a good paper. Thanks for sharing such a powerful event. Thinking for yourself can leave you separate from the crowd, but you are also more likely to live by your own standards. People with this style rarely have many regrets, though it is hard to always be strong against the social pressure of others."