I will know that I am in the place that I want to be
once I cease from being envious of, and angry with others
and am rightfully happy for them, instead

I had a dream that I was sitting on a large, and luscious rolling green hill
the grass was long and gorgeous, I was sitting with a friend, but was looking around, or in my head
I felt there a chance for so much opportunity, that I had time left
and actually believe that I said aloud that there actually, and finally appeared time to turn things around
I will not say where this hill was, out of embarrassment, but I knew, very well

after sitting on the grass, I found myself alone in a room that I had never been been in
it was the same day, but now I recalled that I had slept the night before in the bed before me
it was simple, but looked clean, and comfortable, not ideal, but alright
I remember who got me this bedroom, this bed, and said that it wasn't the best, but better than the situation I had prior
I believe it was his parent's house, but was more of a dorm room from the looks of it
I knew that his mother and father would be home soon, so I began to gather my things
someone was in the room with me now, likely that same friend
but not the friend who got me the bed that I was so grateful for
I wanted to take the food, knowing it would be wasted, but it did not feel like mine to take
I looked around for a way to store it
it did not make sense to leave so many cupcakes, if no was were to eat them
there was a small pile of boxes in the living room, not far from the bed
I sorted through them, not wanting to take anything that would be missed, but now feeling increasingly stressed, and rushed
I picked up a nice, new box, it was already made, and was the size I wanted, but I was just so worried that I would be thought of as a thief for it
they did not know my intentions
I thought for a very long time about it, finally deciding that they had other boxes, and that I was making it a bigger deal then it was
I hurriedly attempted to fit the just baked cupcakes, a lot of them, into this cardboard box
for whatever reason, I cared greatly about the appearance of these cupcakes, assuming I was to be giving them to someone
and then the frosting began falling off
the cakes were falling apart, they would not fit well in the box, they began to fall over, and mush
I felt awful, and quite anxious, regretting my decision, also knowing that I had to go back to my 'real life'
I could not stop thinking about how kind it was for that person to rescue me, and find me a comfortable place to stay, I knew things had to go back to how they were though, how they always were