Fear-Based Jealousy

I rode by your street
and waited to miss you
but the feeling never came
I was too angry

the rage that had been subdued some years had returned with a vengeance
and I did not possess the esteem nor energy to let it do anything but win

so thank you for reminding me how truly disposable I am
loved like a placeholder

thank you for reminding me that I am melodramatic, fueled my emotions
irrational, unreasonable, petty, and unforgiving

I was beginning to believe sincerely that life was okay,
but we wouldn't want that

so thank you for reminding me that nobody needs me
and my life is fine without you in it
and yours will be better than fine without me
for a little while