Your Person

This must be what divorce really feels like.
Not to be melodramatic, or over-exaggerating, I just mean looking out at the world,
the tasks, the errands, the small moments, the social events, it crystalizing that you must conquer these things alone, not with someone else any more.
What a privilege, to have one person, I thought.
And maybe this other new person is an old flame,
but for the first time in a long time, I am going out on a weeknight, and I am going to chose to live.
(No one needs to know what it is I do with my time, I remind myself.)
Even when it is hard, even when the choice is there.
I should see decisions as luxury, choices are a gift.
Sometimes you wish to feel a way in which you cannot.
He said inexplicable, but I knew that he really meant unexplainable.


"Your car is still dead in my driveway while I wait for the tow truck
and you know what, I know I drove you away, but I still don't think it was wrong so I don't know what to say"