Everyone Too Big To Swallow

dear self,
you listen too well, you think you understand everything
even when you think you don't
and the only thing you've been good at
is keeping the waterworks in your eyes
and waiting
for things to work out by leaving you behind


nobody wants to be loved that much
when I am feeling hallow
slid you in to a cookie cuter shape of something
I cannot swallow
that suffocated feeling by the look in my eyes
when you say you are going to go
no one even consciously knows


well I found my closure I suppose
and no regrets, although
in my dreams you're still throwing your ice water
down the back of my neck