Shattered

there's a fishhook in my mouth
and frankly it is hard to talk about
hurts while it's in
hurts worse trying to take it out
crying on another porch
everything i am living without


there is no god, just a universe, people and their patterns, nothing matter, which is worse?


your words are sharper than glass
mine still get dropped and fumbled
excruciatingly always soft and subtle
everything, never ends
your voice 
i may never sleep ever again
(you were far too permanently influential
still can't stop the shaking hands)