if i had to sum this all up in one story, one of four something years, this is the one i would chose, have chosen.
we are sitting in your car, i won't go into explaining anything prior, they're all a blur how we end up outside of your house. we sat there, that heavy, unsurmountable weight inside of both of us when something needs to be said, so much. you and i speak slow when it hurts to, when it is important, i do remember looking at you more than you looked over at me, you couldn't. you did most of the talking, and most of the crying. i remember pleading for you to understand that things were not the way that they seemed. we explained ourselves throughly, despite embarrassment, and disclosed heartbreak. i looked out the window into the darkness, during my long drawls, or the long silences. i told you how it's you, you were everything, the other people meant nothing in comparison, and i'd hoped i had already proven that to you. you with your low self worth, me with my low self worth. i could feel us finding middle ground, grasping the reality of the other person's point of view, momentarily. i must have finally admitted that i no longer had any idea you cared. another conversation of you and i divulging to one another how much we love and perceive you. every single time you cried i felt absolutely awful, every single that you cried for me i felt awful and loved. do you remember how you left a note for me with all of your feelings, under your couch cushion, when you believed you were leaving town for good? do you remember how when we got out of the car you asked if we should hug or something? i walked up to you, and as we hugged in the middle of that dark street, i told you that i hated you, i meant that i loved you, and i'm still getting those two confused.
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