Throw Away

I daydream about extracting all of our memories together from my head

and throwing them away

I would do it too, you know

if I could, I would keep one memory

the day I came over and you were in the shower

I sat around your room then felt embarrassed for not announcing my presence 

the day I told you,

don't come out of the shower and into your bedroom naked

because I was in there

I didn't want to startle you 

you stepped into the room wrapped in your towel

viscously angry 

so wildly upset you explained it was so annoying 

how I said that 

I would keep that one

just to be sure to only remember you as intricately let down by me, despite my best intentions

maybe the time I ate green beans for dinner at your dad's

maybe the night I was too sad to be in your bed, so I drove away

the first ones I could delete are

you quietly picking up all of the papers on the floor of your apartment

and showing me that they were all handwritten, addressed to my name

all the times I made you cry

and you never, ever drove away