And Maybe

And maybe I hate myself so passionately and publicly, but at least when the day ends, 
the day has ended.
"I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day."
I found myself saying today that things look like they're turning around a bit, a streak of luck, maybe just two 'good days' in a row but I will most definitely take that. It's sounds awfully stupid to say attitude is everything, as stupid as it is to believe that it is not. I know my outlook was all I had, but I convinced myself a year was a good amount of time to mourn mistakes that could in fact last a lifetime. All I really wanna say is that it's pretty nice feeling anything for the day to come besides unrelenting dread. More than likely I will soon rudely laugh in the face of this somewhat positivity. But I love my friends, and that will never change. No jinxing, no unluck, no distance, no time, 
not that I believe in any of that anyways.