Prelude: I stared longingly at your hairline, the back of your head, the frame of your shoulders, I'd seen so many like it, reminding me of this. I soaked in deeply your characteristics, features, and details. It was all dark, but your hair was so light, and short, and was just how I liked it. I remember your upper body, not chest but the outline, the sides, above your ribcage, under your arms, tension darkly building.
We were in a semi-lit bedroom and the bed was against the far wall on the lefthand side. We were on that bed and we talked until we absolutely couldn't and I waited all night, and you finally came at my face, swiftly and crooked. It got sort of blurry after that, shadowy, but you stopped and told me, for me, that you were seeing someone else. I remember telling you, or maybe her, that I was really happy that you told me. I told myself then, that I could not do that to myself, persist in treating myself like shit, so I didn't. I left,
I went and found her, she said the same thing, and I knew then that I had been gone for too long, I created my reality now because of then, I knew it in that moment to leave. But I could not leave at all, I sat on the couch, for a long time, too long.
We were in a semi-lit bedroom and the bed was against the far wall on the lefthand side. We were on that bed and we talked until we absolutely couldn't and I waited all night, and you finally came at my face, swiftly and crooked. It got sort of blurry after that, shadowy, but you stopped and told me, for me, that you were seeing someone else. I remember telling you, or maybe her, that I was really happy that you told me. I told myself then, that I could not do that to myself, persist in treating myself like shit, so I didn't. I left,
I went and found her, she said the same thing, and I knew then that I had been gone for too long, I created my reality now because of then, I knew it in that moment to leave. But I could not leave at all, I sat on the couch, for a long time, too long.
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