Won't It?

i stay on the phone as some sort of compensation
i wasn't going out of this house today
you take what you will from a conversation
the worst thing you can do during an explosion is under react she would say
i realize i keep putting makeup on each morning to remain bearable
i remember she also said you sound terrible
i liked the sound of that, but then regret it
she said one person desperate for one other's company is pathetic
my mind wanders to feeling silly joy in that person's presence
this may be the first time in my life i feel this supposed to be unity
we're each on the brink of nothing, and daily i sense that shared terror inside of me


at least
i hear a distant baseball and bat clink
but it makes me think
you could almost hear that too
it makes me wonder
if you knew i had so little left living for
what would you do
would you come save me like i would come save you


it does not matter, all history does is repeat
last evening i put on a sad movie and cried in my sheets
for two hours at least
i reminded myself that at the darkest
it's got to get better won't it
and with the morning sun something different is sure to come
i just forgot what it was in that moment


i thought recently that it was all because of my striving to grow
that i lost so truly that kinship to all those that i know
but how we deal with suffering and uncertainty
i'll never show
and if they want to make a grandious occasion of it each night
i let them go
i'll let them go