I'm sorry for the thoughts that go through my head when I see your face. None of this makes any sense any more, if it ever did, and I am finished with trying to figure it out. It's complicated because I need you when I am my lowest, and my highest. It's complicated because I can say that we both are, and we just don't know any more. We are done trying to figure it out. All the signs point to this being altogether over. All the signs point to you, and this, forever, and everything looks exactly how I want it to when I want it to. I wasn't alone any more. I found someone who told me that I was the most real person on the face of this earth, and I liked that. I concluded that we needed each other to function, like we would be so lopsided on our own, that we would only be able to move in a circle. I thought that I knew so many things, now I just don't know. But it's still there, I feel it some nights, and I see it sometimes, and you feel sorry now because I feel everything (all of the time).
I apologize for hurting you just enough to limp away from here, that is only if you are unhappy where you are. I apologize that I allowed you to dismember me totally, that is enough to where you don't know where to look when you speak with me.
This is all in lieu of the passed years spent sitting by the phone, eyes closed praying you would call to tell me that you lost yourself, then found you again. This is for the person who let years go wasted in confusion over how you couldn't need me as a friend. I don't need to know.
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