I'm Still Learning How

"I drove home on the same old roads, and watched your ghosts dance from the causeway. And I know that everyone that I love will someday come back to haunt me. So I lie with people I hate because it was meant to be. I watched everything walk away as the summer sun set beneath the autumn leaves, and I couldn't help but smile. Fourteen years have passed with the same old stony faced grin. I'm still learning how to laugh, I'm still learning how the swim. Looking back at all these hazy eyes, the cracked up teeth, and the crooked smiles made everything suddenly seem worth it. For a minute I was trying to say to you that the rain could wash us all away. When the sun swallows the earth, I'll be rejoicing. This is what made me learn to stand tall in the face of every condescending failure. But now I'm standing up in the face of failure. And I still remember every time I cried..." 

 "But you caught me when I was running; you took me away from everything. I can't do this everyday. I'm looking for a way to say that I'm looking for a way to stay. So just stay the fuck away..."