Monday, December 10, 2012

Phone Home

she told me that I am too frightened to make any decision, so I make none at all
the fear of failure rules my world
I start everything that I would want to do, a tiny bit, then forfeit instantly, easily


she said that I would make mistakes every day until I "fucking died", don't be so timid
it was nice though, it felt good to be reprimanded

she said that I beg for help, but will not take it until the other person is begging to give it
I could not have said it better myself, nothing on earth sounds more appealing, or needed

she said that my self esteem was so low that I've convinced myself I cannot do a single thing by myself
can't even take care of myself

she said she doesn't want me on the medication, but to make up my mind, about anything

say what I want, no one can "read my mind"
there was a pause
I spoke I did not know what it was I wanted

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