This is Not the Same But it Will Have to Do for Now

You contract any ounce of sadness that you can from any event or situation, as if it were happiness. You negate all sensations of happiness by dutifully reminding yourself if was a distraction from your sad. Where you used to want to say thanks for a good time, you find yourself beginning to write 'what I meant to tell you..'. You miss the heart-wrenching, you miss it so terribly you wrench your heart yourself. This is not the same (it gets the job done) but it will have to do for now