Growing Up And Getting Held Back

My own meticority and shortcomings are quite enough, I don't need everyone else's coming to mix in mine, complicating, convoluting whose are whose. I want to be independent, and I think that the genuine desire in and of itself warrants deserving to be. It's not easy for me, either, you know? I wake up most mornings wanting to give up, on everything, I come home from work hating myself so tremendously that I can barely think or function. But I'm trying here, trying to believe I am worth something, anything, more than anything. I can base my decisions off of myself, for myself. Everyone else does without skipping a beat, why should I cater to them, also, when they are mediocre? When they are not even trying.