it vibrated for much too long
with nerves I myself did not have the strength to get gone
I couldn't see other peoples faces
I did it any way
I haven't made eye contact in two months
connecting in real life now is much like pulling teeth
why would I go through the agony when they fall out so easily in my sleep
I drove home
and listened to trees on repeat
the sound shook my chest
but in a good way this time
you did not hold my hand and I seemingly was not fine
I need fucking help in this life
the woman on the phone from triple a asked today if I drive five miles to work
I wanted to tell her
that I live alone now
I longed to ride my bike tonight
or crush up tylenol pm
everything that you said
was NOT to offend me
and I felt as if I have never been so hurt by anything
I walked in the front door and heard sobbing flooding the halls
a woman's voice is repeating:
come here
come here
come here!
I took the elevator and was surprised
I could still hear her inside
on the forth floor I heard her still
I unlocked my door
and walked inside
I wondered if he ever came there
I wondered if I would ever be okay
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