I Love You Forever Just Not Right Now

 my mom voiced concerned over who would find my dead body
 a topic she thought wise to bring up, discuss a little
 she said that when she really thought about it
 I will always have work on monday morning
 they would notice I am missing
 her knowing that I would kill myself before
 I would quit my job

 I go to starbucks ironically
 every single morning

 sometimes I don't like a person's instagram picture
 until enough other people have liked it in order to not show my name

 I shaved my legs and the cuts bled everywhere

 I thought it would be funny to tell you we shouldn't speak any more
 then cry
 and then ignore you
 and then tell you we should hang out

 I thought it would be funny to tell you that the only thing I miss about you
 is how well you cooked salmon
 you said "lemon pepper and lemon"
 I said "thank you"

 you sent me something today that read 
 "I like to take care of people physically and emotionally"
 I believed it to be something that you wrote
 before apprehending how terrible I felt
 so I wrote you back that I needed that
 you did not respond

 I paint my nails "flirt"
 and do not answer my phone for two months