i googled how and changed my wifi name to peralta

i googled how and changed my wifi name to peralta

i told myself that i would write an alt lit poem every day this week
today is tuesday
i have a crush on greg and it doesn't really make sense
i guess i'll always be in love with the people who smirk when they talk
i listened to 90's alternative radio getting reading for work
i make eggs every day
and find it a sign from god every time that nirvana plays
even on 90's alternative radio
all apologies is playing now
i felt a twinge of guilt for the moments i did not include in my last poem
here is a list of things that duylam did or said that i meant to mention
in the afore mentioned poem
1. he asked me at dinner if i was currently having an emotional breakdown
to which i said i was not, even though i often believe to be
neither of us know the difference
2. he asked if i would drive him back to his apartment 
3. he said i should visit vermont, i think that he said vermont
4. he referred to himself as being pseudo passive aggressive
5. he asked if i write poems
i pretty much said no, which was easier than the truth
jim emailed me today, from odd compulsion
the zine was printed today
and he had been out of contact due to his living situation "going south"
i responded that "funny enough" mine did too
i relish in insensitivity
being casual is fun
until your ex-landlord tells you that you should "know him better"
when you were trying to act nonchalant
white men
scott at work today said:
we should kill arlene
he really did not like jeff's comment (/jeff)
and that brent is baby
i (honestly) agreed with all of the above
i found out tonight that glout and glower have the same meaning
i did laundry
and used the front door several times
on my way to work 
one of the maintenance apartment guys asked if he could ask me a question
i dread these interactions, they are like a nightmare
"why don't you use the front door?"
i wanted to tell him that my fear of humans has become escalated
in this time of uncertainty and misfortune
that a few word exchange (such as this one) could ruin my whole day
i said i was taking out the trash
and remembered that he was the guy i wanted to befriend
i figured he could see through me
to my superiority complex
i felt snobby and guilty
i walked to the coffee shop on 7th and it was not open 
(in what seemed like a long-term way)
i have been obsessed with the idea that people can see into my soul through my eyes
i avoid contact and hope it doesn't last
i read a story today about a dead father visiting his son in his dream
and i nearly cried, because of what happens after you die
it's all so
subjective
i thought about you dying today
you being YOU
i thought about how i miss you
i thought about the hospital 
i thought about your car
i haven't seen you in two years
it's crazy
what have i been doing

peralta means "high rock"
it very well could be lonely at the top
we both know that