Power

I'm scared that I am the only one making this complicated. I am scared it could be simple. 
you said yourself I make a mess because I want it that way, well I said it and you agreed because we both knew it was true. 
you didn't say only if the other person wants it that way also, and neither did I, I worry that's because we didn't know. 
I'm scared I would want it no matter what. 
I am scared of the mess in my head. 

I haven't been this powerless in my life since I was a little kid,
lying sick on the couch, calling my mom. 
I hog-tied myself, but I am not watching anything go by, 
the life I want doesn't exist.