Intentional Intentions

I had a very interesting realization today,
I was pondering the convenience of having someone frustrated, let down, or disheartened by you when you fear them loving you too much. It made me think about people always trying to get what it is that they actually want. The underlying purpose to everything I do is to attempt to get someone to love me unconditionally. Although, if the underlying ideal outcome is to get someone to stay a comfortable distance away, and not be able to depend on you whatsoever, that person's actions would not just reflect that, but often make it so. Many people fear intimacy, or even simply do not want it at all, there is a closeness that so quickly makes a person outrageously uncomfortable, but not so often does a person communicate to another that the situation is too personal for them to handle. It is difficult to voice, "Back off", or, "Like me less". I believe that it is much more tolerable to let your actions speak for themselves, and drive them away, or worse, drive them to expect less of you. In return, they treat that person accordingly, which seems like something presumably unwanted, but it isn't, at all. He told me that when something is positive and good it is terrifying to him, and he destroys or abandons it as hastily as possible. It made me think how pleasing then something mediocre or diluted would be to him, never having to live up to anything, never feeling scared. Could this type of person be irritating and sabotaging their partners or friends with the intent to do so, perhaps subconsciously, or even consciously? Disappointment would be something not just familiar but also safe, if shared and commonplace. Bringing down the intensity and eagerness of a relationship is not just advantageous in terms of tension on the persons within it, but even moreover, the person who doesn't wish to be feel forced to leave something of worth can linger around in it without worry. This is all likely a confusing, roundabout, and inaccurate justification for people that I love treating me poorly, because I like to believe that everyone is covertly trying their best, but I will go with it for now. I really think it is important to decipher what it is that a person wants, and wants from you, attempt to figure out their ideals and their goals, their fears and their concerns, if you aren't thinking about it every waking second of the day, breaking it apart, and haphazardly putting it back together again, 
it just might actually work out.