Dog Paddle

turns out these relationships are not worth the near to nothing amount of energy that they take to maintain
because i have but one unconditional, and she doesn't live here and it's not the same
as the people around here calling me (but not by my name)
this means nothing to anyone, knowing although to me it means a lot
i can tell by the way they expect me to use the bar stall without a lock
without a lock
without a lot
just a little thought
and i feel no better
when they use the word forever
conditional is exactly what this should be
now a negative connotation to the word friend
because i am drowning
in the shallow end


never really thought i would say that i feel this sort of alone
relating to but one person now from that discarded home